Thursday, December 25, 2008

A fine one indeed

Well Christmas has come and almost gone. As I sit here and look at the mess around me to include toys,wrapping paper and dishes, It is really OK.I dont feel stressed or even bent out of shape about it. My husband gave me french coffee press which is the purest way to make coffee and I may never sleep again,but that is OK. Just more of life to live with my eyes open.
This was a good Christmas and although all my family was not with me, they were in my heart. We laughed, we ate and we laughed some more. And even though I did drop a tear of two for those that are in heaven, it was still a good Christmas. And after I get up and clean up this mess tomorrow I will prepare to meet the year 2009 head on.
I am not one for resolutions but there are some things I would like to put in to place.
One thing is to slow down a bit and as the old saying goes stop and smell the flowers.
I wont to laugh a bit more at myself and perhaps not take life so seriously not that I took it all that seriously to start with.
I wont to dance more and I wont to teach my grandchildren to dance.
I wont to find a new God spot. Mine is to sad now to go to so I need a new one,
My prayer life is really suffering and I need to fix that for shore.
These are just a few things.
My color for 2009 will be red. I really like the color red.
This Christmas is gone and I wonder what next year will bring, but that is only a fleeting thought. I have never been one to think that far ahead. I am sure there will be change there always is. Lets hope they are good ones.
Meanwhile as the song plays " Where are you Christmas " it reminds me that Christmas is family that is here and you can share with and it truly resides in your heart, and not in a place.This Christmas will be packed up very soon and along with it this years memories and I file this one as a fine one indeed. Amazing what a positive mind set will do for you. Look out 2009. I will be meeting you head on and with my dance shoes on.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Christmas Tree on Jasper Street

I was sitting the other night rather enjoying my Christmas decor in my living room.
The fireplace was burning, my Nativity scene was in tack for the moment ( no grand boys yet to kidnap baby Jesus ) I must say all I needed was some snow which by the way I am praying for to make it Christmas card perfect. At that moment I was taking back in time to a place long forgotten in my memory. I just love it when God brings those memories back. I like to call them a kiss on the cheek memory. Growing up for me was not a easy task nor always a good one, so I have ask Jesus to replace the bad memories with good ones, ones long forgotten or should I say over shadowed by the more difficult ones and He has done that several times. This trip back in time was no exception.
I was taken back to a time when Mom and myself lived in a apartment, which in its self was not the norm. We normally lived with someone,mostly my grandmother until she died. My older brother had just come home from Vietnam or was coming home ,I really don't recall, that would have make me about 4 0r 5 years old. Any way, I recall Mama spending hours on that Christmas tree. It was real and she hung those big old bulbs one strand at a time,carefully putting them just in the right place. She then hung the balls the same way and I remember just watching in amazement as it came together. Then came the ice sickles, one at a time, it seem like it took forever for her to get done with. Do you know how many ice sickles there are in those packs? It felt like a million.But after several HOURS she finally hung the last one.Then she did something I have never saw her do again and I myself have never tried to duplicate it. She took with such love and precise care and cupped angel hair around each one of those big ole lights on that tree that seem to stretch to the ceiling. When she had completed that the lights gave off a warm glow that I can honestly say have never seen again.On any other tree I have seen sense. By this time every small child had gathered at the outside of the window and was looking with amazement. That tree was beautiful masterpiece created by my Mom, by this time the front door was open and kids just starting coming inside to take a look at it. I remember now all the ohs and awes and I think my Mom even smiled. I did not get to help her that year decorated the tree and don't know why,she normally let me put those ice sickles on, but I am kinda glad she didn't. I don't know if I would have recall all those details if I had helped and not just watched. So as I sit and look at my Christmas tree that by no comparison holds a light to that tree on Jasper Street. is is pretty just the same, and I am really glad I put it up. Because I saw that excited ment in Cole,Jonah,and Judah's eye when they saw it for the first time,much like the the excitement I recall seeing in those neighbor kids eyes when they came in and looked at that tree my Mom decorated that year. How excited and proud I was, and as that memory fades away hopefully to recall again another time, it fades with my Mom Turing her head oh so slightly my way and smiling.
Wow what a great kiss on the cheek. Thanks Jesus.

Monday, November 17, 2008

My Choice

I was on my way home last week and I passed a house on Old Orangeburg road that was Griswald decked out for CHRISTmas. I could not help but think Wow they sure are in the spirit. It is not even Thanksgiving yet. But as I passed the house it hit me.CHRISTmas is almost here again. Is time racing past me like a whirlwind. It seem just a few weeks ago I was teaching Cole and Johah how to swim, now it is cold and CHRISTmas is popping up every where.
At work we have a increased of depression that happens around the Holiday, most people are worried about money and with all good reason, others are just wishing it will be over soon.
All this has caused me to stop and think a bit. It has been a long time that I have enjoyed the season. Daddy died 2 months before CHRISTmas in 2005, and that pretty much tugged on the heart strings, then the next CHRISTmas mama was gone, then the next one after that we lost Kenny, so all in all for me it has been 3 CHRISTmas's that have had a sad overtone to it.
Well frankly I am sick and tired of being Sad. Satan has done a great job of robbing us of the joy not only in our everyday life's, but also in our loss'
We have pulled away from the reason we even celebrate this time year by allowing the worry and and losses to cloud our thoughts and our hearts.
I heard a Pastor say once that everything we experience we choose how we will allow it to affect us. Satan may cause some problems but not without Gods permission to do so, and I feel that God then looks at us and waits for us to CHOOSE HIM.
Satan says you have no money to buy gifts Jesus says choose me I am the gift.
Satan says you are having a hard time and you can not enjoy life anymore and Jesus says my yoke is easy and my burdens are light if you chose me.
Satan says your heart is sad and things will never be the same Jesus says I make all things new choose me.
But for most of us we Choose to be worried, and sad and depressed and just wish that this time of year will go away. Where would we be if it had never come?That thought is to fearful to even think about.
How guilty I am that I have fallen into the trap that Satan has so cunningly set to make me less effective as Christians by using my on emotions against me.
Well for me this season I am packing up my gloomies and putting them in a box under my tree 'For real' if you come to my house you will find a box under my tree that will say on it gloomies.
I am going to pull out my tree and all my decor and heck I may even buy some more ( dont tell Neil ) I am going to the parade all three of them even if I have to go alone. I will be breaking out my CHRISTmas CD's and I will put a song in my heart. I am going to be with my family the ones that I can and I will tell them how much I love them and how much Jesus loves them. I mailing CHRISTmas cards even to those I dont like :):):)
I am going to watch Charlie Brown, and all those movies that make me laugh.
I am sure there will be times this will get hard but I owe it to Christ to show the joy of my salvation, and how thankful I am that we even have this season. I know that I can never repay Him for what he has done for me but I can put my best foot forward for Him. I am going to ask Him everyday to remove any sadness from my heart and to help me focus on the season.
I love you Mom and Dad and Kenny.but this year it wont be about you, you will be celebrating a birthday in heaven and I bet that will be a great party, one that I will get to see first hand one day, but for me this time this year I CHOOSE Jesus.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Counting my Blessings

A few weeks ago as we sat down to eat dinner, my dear husband was forced to say the blessing.
This is something he is doing more and more lately, to his defense, but normally it is I. This night I had already stuffed something in my mouth and my words would not form so I relented and squeezed his hand and he followed the cue and stepped right up to the plate and said the blessing. One thing I have noticed with him is that no matter when or when or what, he always thanks God for our blessings.
Now I am thankful for the many things that God has blessed me with, but like most people unless it is something big, I tend to over look the little things that warms my heart each day. I so often fail to thank my Lord and Savior for the smaller things that are relevant to me.
So today I am including a active prayer in my blog on the things that warms my heart each day that God has blessed me with.

Lord forgive me for allowing the world to demand so much of my attention that I take my eyes off of you, and forgive me for minimizing the blessings in my life that are not on a bigger scale.
Thank you for for the way I feel when Olivia smiles at me and all you see is squinted eyes and gums, or when my grand boys call my name with excitement. Thank you that I can see, touch, and smell the beauty of this world around me, the way that my breath catches the early morning air and I am reminded that you gave me breath and you are the only one that can take it away.
I am awed to feel the rain on my face but more than that I love to close my eyes and feel the wind blow, for that reminds me that even though I can not see you or touch you right now, you are still there.
I love to smell coffee brewing and that feeling I get after the first sip in the morning, that makes me feel warm in my tummy.
I am touched when I hear children playing in the distance and it reminds me of some of my founder childhood memories. You are slowly erasing the bad ones and replacing them with the good ones, the ones I had long forgotten.
For naps and blankets to curl up in and warm fuzzes on my feet.
For fleeing moments with those that I love, and how when that time comes to a end, how thankful I was to have a few minutes of their day, for neither one of us may not have tomorrow left to share on earth , and Daddy I dont ever wont to forget that fact.
For fireplaces and warm beaches and music Lord, how I do love me some music and may my heart sing a joyful noise unto you for now and forever more.
For the times when my sister and I go and do crazy things and we laugh, so often more at ourselves than others, it gives me a good feeling inside.For big people in little cars that for some reasonthat just cracks me up.
For times that I get the giggles at all the wrong moments and for the big ole belly laughs that brings me to tears.
Thank you sweet Lord for the memories that I hold dear to my heart, and the tears of pain and joy that you personally keep in a special store house.
For the way it makes me feel when I am at home and Neil burst in and calls me "woman of the house '' I cant help but good inside when I hear that.
Lord thank you that through all my failures as a parent my children respect me, and I feel a sense of pride at the respect they show me and I pray that you will bless them for this respect and make their lives long ones as your word promises it will do.
Holy Daddy I could sit all day and think of the small things that touch me in so many ways, but once again the demands of my day are at hand, and I must go,but I wonted to thank you for these things that warm my heart, I am sorry it has taken me so long. Continue to bless this servant of yours and bless those that take a few minutes from their day to read this public display worship and praise.

It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to your name O Most High. To declare your lovingkindness in the morning and your faithfulness every night. Psm 92:1-2

In your name Jesus

Monday, October 20, 2008

A Place for New Beginnings

Recently I have been going to a little church that meets at Pelion High School. I came about it quite by accident and I went one Sunday, and with the exception of one Sunday I had my grand boys I have been there each Sunday sense.
I have been compelled to go to this little church with a rather big name. New Life Christan Fellowship Baptist Church. " A place for New Beginnings"
Now for many of you, I have shared my LONG journey of finding a church home. I thought a couple of times that I had found it but could never get total peace. I have prayed and cried out to God and griped and mourned and groaned but it did me no good, and for a long time I was getting worried. My sister told me once that I over analyzed things and I could not help but wonder if this was part of the problem. Then someone told me that It was not important what church you go to as long as you go and it is a bible teaching church, well I could not get peace about ether one of those responses.
I has taken me a L-O-N-G time to even figure out what I was looking for in a church home. And I often got caught up in emotion as well as duty that it had clouded my perception a bit.
So I set just a few simple things into my head that I was looking for in a church home and of course I continued to pray about it hoping that I could get some light on why I was having so much trouble, although I did not expect much of a answer because for some reason those prayers have seem to hit the ceiling and go no further.
But never the less that was the plan.
But as I continue to go to New Life I felt more and more at home.
Now I have been part of big churches and I have been part of Small churches but I have never been part of a church plant, so I found this in its self very interesting. How neat to watch a church grow from 20- 200 to 500, who knows. I only know that my little church with a big name has a big heart, and big plans and a desire to reach the lost and at the same time know your name.
The task is big and this road may be long, but the company is sweet, and as I think about how long it has taken me to get to this place, I realize that Gods timing is perfect. That at any other time in my journey I would not have been ready for New Life and New life would have not been ready for me.
It does matter to God where you go to church, and although I am still not sure that all the analyzing was needed, it did prove to be helpful in shorting out my thoughts and desires about a church home.
The other churches have been great and I have learned allot, but for the most part there was a sadness that I could not understand at the time. I realized that one day recently I opened my bible. See I keep in my bible two very special memorials, one is my Mama's and one is Kenny's my nephew.
My home church I cant help but think about my mama when I walk in those doors. That was the only church she new and when she got well that is were she wonted to go. We never knew that her healing would be far greater than a physical one, never the less she never made it back there and I could not help but think of that each time I walked through those doors. And for Seacoast where I called home for a while, I think about Kenny, who was making his way back home as well, Only thing is he kept on going. He made it all the way home. Kenny has taught me more in his death than when he was with us. Things that I hold near and dear, but still bitter sweet memories when I walked through those doors as well. These are some of the things I could not find peace with nor did I recognize that until now. Finally the light got bigger, and I realized as the old saying goes....You cant go home.
So I have found me a new home "Finally" one that is ready for fresh memories and one that allot of help is needed and I am ready to get giggie with it, it has been a long time.
So this little church with he great big heart called New Life Christian Fellowship Baptist Church
" A Place for New Beginnings'' is going to be my home because I am sure ready for some new beginnings and to watch what God is going to do now.
A long name yes, but perfect indeed.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Life according to La Tay

Yesterday would have been my Mama's 82 birthday,if she had been living. I am not sure what she would have thought about turning 82. Age was not kind to mama but then again life had not been to kind to her either. So as I thought of her yesterday I had what my grandson Cole would have called a sad heart pretty much all day, and as I went to bed last night I could not help but feel a great loneliness. Something mama worried about for some reason, me being lonely. So much so that on her dieing bed she made my poor baby sister make a promise that she would not leave me alone. A promise that is impossible to keep. For a time I thought it was just something mama worried about thought the whole death process, but now I am not so sure. I think mama worried about me being alone through my life and despite our often turbulent relationship my mom worried about me my whole life. Now I have to be careful, because as so many people do they tend to glorify the loved ones that have gone home, we just don't wont to think ill of the dead, so we are always quick to bring out the good and not the bad, so lets just say my mom was a tough bird as my husband so kindly puts it. As Forrest Gump would say that is all I am going to say about that.
I have learned so much about her in death, and come to realize that she has taught me allot. Now these lessons have mostly been a bit unconventional lessons, but they are life lessons just the same. I like to call them "Life according to La Tay " She has taught me allot. so I thought I would share just 10 things that come into my head, that I have learned, in honor of my mama's 82 birthday.
1. Navy blue always looks good with white.
2. Bitterness will eat you up in side if you let it.
3. When you truly love someone, you love them for a life time.( no matter what )
4. You can not really cook good with out fat back
5. First impressions are lasting
6. You never ware white after summer, no matter what crazy people say
7. Hamburgers with onions are part of the food chain
8. You never mess with a mama's child unless you are ready to fight.
9. Dance while you are still able to. ( mama loved to dance )
10 Friendship is a life time deal.

Happy Birthday Mama.!!!!!!!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Glimsp of Heaven

My daughter recently invited me and a select few others t0 a bible study at the church she is attending. Realizing my need for a bible structure. a study that some one will hold me accountable in the studying of the word of God, and working out of a book and then meeting back up with others to talk about and refine and correct is a great way t0 be held accountable, and to make sure you are on the right tract. Let us not forget that satin is a deceiver and would like nothing more than for Christians to miss interrupt the word of God.
Second it allows you to be in fellowship with many other believers, in this case women, who all share the same things that Christan women deal with, work,home,husbands,job,and then it becomes a bit of relationship thing that women need. ( yes fellows we need )
Well the study is by Beth More titled When Godly people do ungodly things, and if you have every studied with her or been to one of her conferences you know right off the bat two things.
She is biblical sound and this is going to hurt.
Well let me tell you, it did not take Satan long to hit me full force with distractions in MANY forms, so my first thought is GREAT!!!! this must be where I need to be studying what I need to be studying for the next 6 weeks.So I girded up my loin ( that bible talk for pulled up my big girl panties and sucked it it ) and I started praying to my Holy Daddy for help, and I got ready for a heart change ( which is normally what these kinds of studies do ) and you know heart surgery hurts. My father in law told me once, when a study hurts that is when you know that you are on the right track. OUCH!
So any way, I walk in this room and said to myself "self you are one of the oldest women in this class" and self said yes you are, but don't you look good, and as I tell my much younger prettier sister, that beauty fades, but wisdom is forever, I was wondering how I fit in to this and I felt a bit out of place. But in the coarse of the evening as we all talked and shared a bit I began to realize something awesome. EVERY ONE OF THOSE WOMEN IN THAT ROOM,WERE BORN AGAIN,SANCTIFIED,GODLY WOMEN, that wonted to be there, they were hungry for God words and they were willing to put EVERTHING on hold to get it. I could just imagine that was what it must have looked like when Jesus stop to teach ( but on a bigger scale ) undevided attenion .and it was incredible. As Kirk Franking sings " all eyes on you Jesus, all eyes on you " To be in a complete room of saints like that my heart welled up and I could not stop crying and when they prayed it hit me, God allowed me to get a teeny tiny peak of what it if going to be like in heaven, to walk among the saints in one accord, to share and pray and most importantly praise. In all my Christan walk I have never been exposed to so many solid saints in one room, that I have felt such power. Here is the other kicker, we shared prayer request not the ones that you throw out in a crowd so people don't think your life is perfect, we shared deep request, as for mime already I see God moving with the answers.
With that brings a whole new perspective when it tells us in God words that he answers the prayers of the righteous. not that I ever doubted that, but never have I seen it happen so fast.
What a ride this is going to be and I am sooooooooo excited. I may limp for a while but my heart even leaps for that.
So at this moment, I think when I get to heaven, I will probably do a whole lot of crying, good tears of course but if that glimsp is anything like I felt in that room, it will be tears.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Good Friends

This morning found a very cool breeze greeting me as I got up and started my day. And with that breeze I found good friends, I have waited all summer long to reconnect with my friends, and as good friends will do, they were waiting on me too. I did not have to do any searching, they were just where I have put them months ago. Sitting quietly waiting on me to remember all the cool days they comforted me. Never whining or complaining, just waiting on me to bring them back into my day. Yes it was my pink fuzzy bedroom shoes, I reached for them and there they were, a bit older and bit more swap sided but ready and eager to please. As I put my feet into them and the warmth engulfed my toes, I could not help but stop for a moment of silence for the pink fuzzy animal that gave up its hide to make my pink fuzzy bedroom shoes and was convinced that there is a special place in heaven for these wonderful creatures.
Oh they have not been without their own drama, the times my daughter has come and slipped them on her feet as if no one noticed, with total disregard to the fact that they don't fit her but each time I have rescued them and kept them in the fold, and the time that Buba ( my dog ) thought he could take one to his bed and hide it to make it a object of his affections, but this plan was quickly foiled and my pink fuzzy bedroom shoe was reunited with its mate and with me.
Yes with fall comes the cool breeze and the chilly mornings and the return of my pink fuzzy bedroom ain't so bad.

Monday, September 8, 2008


Carol Kings sings a song titled Tapestry. In this song she speaks of the tapestry of life and how that it is woven into bits of blue ( sad times) and gold ( good times ) you can feel it and see it but you cant hold it. Because holding it would give you control over it and we do not have control over our lives, past a certain point.
As I returned home from a weekend with my sisters, I would not help but think of that song and how well it seem to fit.
Once a year we try and come together as a family, and we all plan to go, but life happens and I find it interesting to see which set of family members end up coming. I myself have had to forfeit a trip. It is almost like the prize in a happy meal, you know there is one and you are excited about it you are just not sure which one you are going to get. I also love to see how the year has changed us. But no matter who is there we all seem to at some point look back at the tapestry we had all come from. The names, the places, the time and the events that took place ( wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold )
For some the changes have been subtle for some painful. And with each trip no matter what I always learn something that I did not know before.
So this morning I reflect on that.
For one of my sisters, I learned that she is not as obtuse as she thinks she is, it is more of a insecurity for her, I have never really seen that in her in the small amount of time that I have spent with her.
For another sister, the pain of her loses were evident in more ways than one. And I think for the later lost we all grieved a bit with her in a private place, for me it was on my way home when I tossed a kiss and a muttered missed ya under my breath.
I learned of a honesty in a niece that I would not help but respect, and a strength that I had not seen in the past. Her gait she had set into motion and the beginning of her tapestry was set.
I learned that Cole will fall asleep eventually, and I think for the first time I really listened to his laugh. It is deep and comes from his heart. I only wish that he would always laugh and never know the pain of life, then if that were to be the case, his tapestry would be a solid color and therefore not a tapestry at all.
As for the men folk, It was nice to see them all share the love of a sport that I myself are learning to enjoy. Neil was right ( but don't tell him I said so ) God just kinda hangs over your shoulder when you fish and in the quite of His creation , HE is only a whisper away. But then again isn't that always the case? God is only a whisper away. Perhaps it is more of I am only a whisper away from God, He is the one that don't have to shout at me.
As for me, I came to realize that my tapestry continues and will until God calls me home, rich in golds and blues and I hope that some where along that way my colors after they are woven will keep my family warm because in my colors of blue and gold there is also the color of love and I was reminded of that in a poem my Mama had given me many years ago, title Legacy Of A Adopted Child"The the last paragraph reads: " The age old question through the years, Heredity or environment which are you the product of neither my darling neither just two different kinds of love

Now thats gold!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

God our Defender

In my quite time today there was a big question. What is God doing when you are in a bind? When the lifeboat springs a leak? When the rip cord snaps? When the last penny is gone before the last bill is paid.....I know what we are doing. Nibbling on nails like corn on the cob. Pacing floors. Taking pills, but what dose God do, that was the question and part of a response from my favorite Arthur Max Lacado.
Which prompt me to think, why do we pace and worry. What is it that will not ease up when things are not so easy. What is it that holds on to the things that we should just let go of if indeed Christ is in our hearts? Is it free will overload? I wonder that because Christ allows us to have a free will or should I say loves us so much that we have free will, have we like everything thing else in our life's Overloaded on it. We over work, we over eat, we over sleep, or dont sleep at all, we over analyzed, over spend over and over. Is that what happens to that precious gift of free will. Jesus says, just love me by your own free will and I will take care of everything else, and we cant even do that.So I think for my sake I am going to work on that "over" issue and try and trust the one who says in Exod. 14;14 I will fight for you.
The rest of the devotion went on to say.
" What does God do?.....
He fights for us. He steps into the ring and points us to the corner and takes over. Remain calm; the Lord will fight for you. His job is to fight. Out job is to trust. Just trust. Not direct ( that's me ) or question....our job is to pray and wait.

Humm, something to think about.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Walley World

Recently I was engaging in some retail therapy in Walmart. I was there spending my husband overtime money I was upset with him, and as I had said previously in my blogs I POUT, but this time I just decided to spend his money on a bunch of nothing.
So as I was bound and determined to shop until I dropped, I found myself really looking at all the people that were spending their Sat afternoon in Walmart as well.
Well let me tell you it was something else. Let me start with the lady with the hair.
Now you have seen older women I am sure with blue hair and with gray/silver hair, well this little darling had neither it was, pink,purple, and brown. I kid you not! and we are not speaking about no young chick either we are talking Granny. Well as they say only her hair dresser knows for sure.....NOT.
The next thing that caught my eye was the young man that had a hold of his crotch like someone was going to steel it from him.I saw him several times, I tried to ignore the obvious but if my sister had been with me she would have slapped me and told me to "Stop it !I could not understand why he had such a death grip on his man hood, and I am sure my face displayed the same puzzlement.
Next was the young girls who's body's don't fit in their clothes,You know the ones that you wont to tell HONEY THEY DON'T FIT MOVE UP A SIZE OR TWO.
And I wont to know who was the bright cookie that came up with letting grandpa drive the little scooter around Walmart, He cant even drive a car, what makes them think he can do any better with a scooter? Maybe we should next time, unplug the battery when we get the buggy.We may save someones foot,and speaking of buggies why do people hold a family reunion in the middle of the ale? Move to the side please, don't stand there and discus your kidney stones most people don't care, but the one that got me the most was the girl who was sitting outside taking a break, she was sitting on the curb just a causal as any one, except for one thing, with the hip hugger pants she had on and the fact that I mention earlier that you should sometimes buy a bigger size she had a full moon rising, we ain't talking no crescent moon, we are talking the whole thing hanging out of her pants, almost wonted to drop some loose change down her pants.
All this left me thinking what has this world come to, as my dear mama would have said 'going to hell in a hand bag.
Well one good thing came out of my visit to Wally World the check out lady actually spoke to me, wonders never cease. Next week I am checking out Kmart:):)

PS Belly dancing classes start September the 8th, this one sounds like its going to hurt..

Monday, August 18, 2008

For Better or Worse

Today is my wedding anniversary and I think back on that day 31 years ago.
How hectic the day was and how I got mad at my husband for working on our wedding day, he did get off early but he did work, and today we went off to work as well.
So I reflect on that man of mine and here are some things that comes to mind.
He loves his dogs. Past and present.And one of the few times I have seen him cry was over a dog. He says that the unconditional love they have for their owners reminds him of how Jesus feels about us. No matter how bad we treat Jesus he keeps coming back to us to try and get us to love him as much as he loves us. Strange theology but oh so true.
He don't waste his time on fake people, I find over the years that it is the genuine people that have lasted in his life.
He is a honest man, and that honesty was enforced with a iron fist as my children were raised. and he feel that same way today.
He will do anything he can for someone as long as they do not know it was him, he aids and helps in secret, bringing No attention to himself, and there are many things he has done for people that they do not know to this day that he was behind it.
( He who is last, will be first )
He is his own worst enemy when he messes up and I have seen him make himself physically ill beating his self up over things that he has goofed on.
He loves the out doors and loves to fish and truly finds peace with God when he is on a lake, or hunting for arrow heads.
He is the hardest working man I have ever met, my daddy was another one, but even daddy took time off, not Neil unless he is forced to, which has lead to the stability of my home and my children and now for that I am grateful, I could not see it back then but do now.He has confessed that he wishes he had taken more time off when Sugar and Jason were younger but in his mind at that time, his working was doing what was best for his family.
He thinks a hand shake is better than a signature and he feels that a man should be able to talk to another man face to face if there is a problem and get it resolved, and once that has been done it is done ( I pout )
He is not fancy and often don't even comb his hair he says that it is not what is on the outside but what is inside a mans heart that counts.
He is without doubt a man of integrity.
He loves his children, I see it by how he has taught them to be as he would say " good people" and how he has sacrificed for them personally over the years things that many people dont even know.He loves his grandchildren, that is clear by the way he smiles at them when they come over and by the time that he spends with them.
and I believe he loves me too, heck he even signed my card this year.:):)
He is not with out spot or blemish by no means but the good certainly out weighs the bad.
I hear people say all the the time that there husband is there best friend, Neil is not my best friend, to me that term is to generalized and often over stated and abused kinda like the word love, I love Jesus and I love ice cream how can you put them in the same category??? Neil is my husband and my mate and that carries allot of weight and responsibility. A friend cuts you slack, my husband helps hold me accountable and helps hold me up.The word husband is what he is and defines who he is to me.
Yes that is my Husband and after all these years he carries that title with my up most honor and respect and loving him is easy because of that.
Happy Anniversary old man, thank you for allowing me to be your wife.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Girls Just wont to have fun

OK so I am going through this stage were I think I have to be doing something all the time besides work and my domestic thing I do at home. What is that all about?? So I ask myself, I said self what is the deal here, don't we have enough to do, with work, home, my sweet babies and my husband who is working all the time, that you feel like you must take something else on? and self said " girl what we need is a little fun" OK I admit that I have never been one to turn down some fun that I knew was not going to make me feel bad the next day. So I had to think about this a bit. My mind kept going back to the same ole things that I have done for fun in the past.
Softball....hum OK until the 3rd of 4Th game. Then it just becomes repetitive.Besides its not fun at a softball game if Uncle Ken is coaching and especially if we suck.No matter what he says it matters to him if we win or loose.
Water skiing..... gas is to expensive and I need someone to drive the boat ( Neil works 6 days a week and he is pretty beat on Sunday.
Hang out more with my sis....... She is playing softball again.

So that leaves me to these conclusions, either I am going to take clogging lessons, or belly dancing,because I do love the dance or go and buy that bike I have been wanting for a while.
Perhaps a motorcycle is now in order, bowling is a option, regardless I am off to find what tickles my funny bone. Sounds like a tango dance to me!!!!

Sunday, August 3, 2008

Church on the Hood

How I have longed for the church of my youth or even the church of my children's youth.You would think that with as many churches as there are you could just walk in one and feel right at home......Not! Ironically my search has brought me back to the place I started for now to rest and lick my wounds, that little church on the hood.
And as I reflect on all this I can not for the life of me recall why I left it. The only thing that really comes to mind is perhaps I was off trying to keep up with the Jones, and if that is the case how shallow that makes me feel, as shallow as some of the Church's I have been to.
As you walk into this church it is not pretty nor is it big, you are greeted at the door by a "Biker dude" dressed in leather, with a smile as genuine as they come ready with a hand shake and or a hug. His Tee Shirt reads Jesus saves and he is ready and more than willing to tell you how Jesus saved him and how he ended up at church on a lost bet with his brother, and he has been here ever sense, and given an edge he will tell you how he has a prison ministry that will rival the largest church. As you find your way to your seat, the only music you hear for now is greetings and glad to see ya and how are you doing that echo in the Small church,and laughter, something I have missed in my visits to other Church's Here are white people and black people, poor and middle class and perhaps one or two that are well off, but you would never know that for sure for humble is their pie.There are those that are dealing with physical as well as mental issues and those that are fighting the addictions that bind them. There are Mothers who have lost children's and wives who have lost husbands and husbands who have lost wives You have some that are out of prison and some that are facing prison and some that are still paying for a mistake they have made once. But when you walk in those doors you have the feeling that all are on equal ground and there is no condemnation in these walls.All in all there are about 40-50 people here today, but they also are host to about 10 other ministers that guide about 500 people each week.
You will probably not find the folks here with brand name cloths or shoes on, no pretty people you might say except in their heart and that is what brings me to to heart of the matter. Arent these the kind of people Jesus hung out with? You did not find him with the ones that had platice or position, you found him with the sick, poor, the mental and the broken both physically and spiritually.In Isiah 61;1-4 he instructs us to do the same.The sermon today is titled High cost for low living and the Pastor for this Sunday is a long time friend and I was refreshed to hear Gods word, intact, not watered down so that it don't offend,He would not be guilty of hearsay this day. He told us what God had told him to say and he made no apologies for speaking the true word of God.He he was gentle in speech and I was touched that he admitted that he too had followed the world at times and the cost was high. The high price for low living.
So what is the problem, glad you ask that, the problem I felt was the worship. It lacks in depth and perception for me....How sad....Not sad for the music, sad that I have been tricked into thinking that the music is what was most important and I could not have been further from the truth....well done Satan, you got me on that one, but not for long.

The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach to the POOR.
He has sent me to bind up the BROKENHEARTED,to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the PRISONERS,to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the vengeance of our God,to comfort all who MOURN.............

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Well Olivia made it, all 6lbs 12 OZ of her. When I looked into that face so many things came rushing through my mind. How much she looked like her Mother at her birth 30+ years ago. What would my Mom and Dad had thought if they could be here.
What in the world are we going to go with a Little Princes in the mist of Peter Pan and the lost boys.:):) and how we are going to get those bows to stick in all that jet black hair? She of course is beautiful, but there was no doubt about that.
Now my role as Mimi has increased by one for now, what a blessing.
Who would have thought so long ago I would have 4 grandchildren. I must admit those things never crossed my mind as I was raising my children, my goal was to get them grown and meet there needs ( not always their wont's ) so as I sit and all this starts to sink in, I am curious to know what this seasons of my life will be like. As I sit and take a brief inventory of my life, I see a rich and beautiful tapestry.
An honest hard working husband who has sacrificed so many times to see that our family needs have been met and never complained. A daughter who is a women in her own right, raising her own children with solid Christian values. A son who has grown to be a strong young man, who works just as hard as his father does. His maturity increases more and more each passing day, he too is learning the value of hard honest work, more precious is that he tells me he loves me everyday. I am and forever will be his biggest fan. Now 4 grandchildren that are as far as we know healthy and strong. A son-in-law that I know would do anything I ask of him,this was evident recently when someone had upset me and it was all I could do to keep him from running to defend my honor. It took a few days to settle him down.
A home that is mine with land that I can leave my children. Sisters that I laugh with, and cry with ( one more than the others ) A steady Job that will provide for us in the future and 2 dogs that love unconditionally. In laws that I love and they love me,that is shown all the time by their support and daily prayers for us.
I saw a bumper sticker not to long ago that said "To Blessed to be depressed"
for me, this season of my life, how very true that is. Thank you Lord for blessing me so richly, for allowing me to understand that blessings are not that of monetary means that only last for a short while, but of things and people that will last a life time.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Lizards,kittens,Pepsi,pink lace and football

Neil and I are awaiting the arrival of out 4th grandchild Olivia Neil. I am excited to see her and welcome her to this crazy world and family. I wonder who she will look like, and I really am excited about smelling her. I know that sounds strange but it is true. She has not to long left heaven and she still smells of God. I am convinced that is what a baby smell is. You know that smell they only have for a little while right under the neck, we call it baby smell, but it is really, what I think God smells like.Pure innocence. I like to think that before she left, a few people that are in heaven already gave her a sweet kiss on her cheek as God sent her out, just to say hello. I think it is so like my God to do something like that for comfort. And if my Mom had any control, Olivia would be born fully clothe in pink and lace with the frilly bottoms, pink white patten leather shoes ( only because it is summer time, black if it was fall or winter because WE DONT WARE WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY )lace socks and if possible a bow in her hair.
I find I am really missing her lately at the pending birth of our first granddaughter, I guess because I know how excited she would be over a girl. Not to take anything from our boys, she always said they had kissee lips and she loved to kiss on them the very little time she had with them.
I still see her pushing Cole down the hall on her walker!
God is blessing me every day, with my grown children and now with my grands. I am beginning to think that perhaps this is what life is all about . I can hardly wait to see what Jason's children will be like, but I guess we need to find him a wife first LET IS PRAY AND PRAY HARD.
Oh what adventures lies ahead......lizards,kittens,Pepsi,pink lace and football. Does any one have any good vitamins I am going to need them, and I can hardly wait.:):):)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

It is what it is

I go through these times in my walk with God were I am compelled to do some soul searching.
It is HIS way of letting me know that I am out of fellowship with HIM. I allow many things to suffer because of this.One being my quite time. Sadly I sometimes do not even realize this is going on until, something gets under my skin that I would not normally let bother me, and I can not seem to let it go. It is Satan's way that he/she gets me. I start to mold to the worlds way and the ole me kicks in and I am off. God lets me rant and rave for a while, I guess just to get it out, then a big ole red flag pops me in the face as I come to see that I have falling out of fellow ship with the very one that sustains me, and I promise you, I need HIM far more than HE needs me. For HIM it is a love thing, and not a need thing and I sometimes have a hard time understanding that. For me it is a need thing and a love thing.
So I do my AM I test, am I in HIS word, am I spending time in prayer, am I going to church ( that's another blog at another time ) am I focused on what is really important with my walk, and AM I walking the talk. There you go, I have blown it again. So I cry out and crawl back. Brush my self off and start over again , and I can do that for now because HIS mercy is new everyday,thank goodness.One day though, I will not have chance to do that, but today I can.
So that is were I am today, but this go around is different.
I feel there are some very serous changes that I will have to make this time.
Perhaps even some people I will have to let go. I admit that I have been to passive with some things, just excepting them for what they are. The key word there is "excepting " Not that I could personally can change it, but that I except it and make no stand against it. Not a loud or unruly stand, but just a simple quite stand for Christ, to let others know that I walk my talk. I have failed here because I care more about what some people think than what Jesus thinks. In the end He is the only thing that really matters. Do I really wont to face Him, and some day I will,
and have Him look at me and say depart from me, I dont know you either! I DONT THINK SO.
One of my sisters made a statement recently she said " It is what it is" Some truer words have never been spoken.
Pride, idolatry,prayerlessness, legalism,conformity and plain out disobedience, It is what it is, but that don't make it right and excepting.You can not change what those things are, but you can choose not to embrace them and just except them like they dont matter to God, because they do, and deep in my heart I know that.
You know, I am weary of straddling the fence, and blending in with the world, because I am not from this world, and all this takes more energy than I have to put into it. His yoke is easy and His burden is lighter. unlike the worlds way that is hard and heavy burdened. How did that get all turned around ? Satan has tricked me again. But that is what he/she is good at.
With that and in closing I am reminded of some lyrics to a song that says, beneath the emblem of a roman cross, that's were I take my stand, where would I be if Christ had given up on me?.............. I shudder to think!
This one is going to hurt.:(:(:(

Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come ( it is what it is.Paraphrase mime), BUT WOE TO THE MAN THROUGH WHOM THEY COME!
Matthew 18:7

Monday, July 7, 2008

Cole for President

As I have stated in my profile, I have 3 almost 4 grandchildren who are the very heart of me. Now if you have grandchildren you know what I mean, if not, then you just wait because God put a special cap in your heart that pops off when a grandchild is born, and a crazy kinda love just starts to free flow, Either you understand that or you dont, but I hope one day you will.
I had my lovey's last night and we had been going around and around about junk food. So I finally said to Cole, no more junk food until you eat something good for you and we came to a compromise of a peanut butter sandwich, that he gave 1/2 of that to Jonah for a Scooby snack
( they are into Scooby Do right now ) and he gave 1/2 of his 1/2 to Judah. and then ask for what else some junk food.
As I reminded him that he did not really eat any of his food, that he gave it away. He turned around with those big ole brown eyes and said with his best defense (court was now in session)
"Mimi, I have a thing on my wall that says do to others as you wont them to be kind to each other, and then with great frustration he looked at me and said " I'm just tiring to love my people"
Now I knew his mom has been teaching him bible verses something I wish I had done as a Mom and not depended on Sunday school teachers to do, and I knew that he had mixed up the verses,
but that was so cute what could I say.
Sounds like a presidential platform to me. Just loving my peeps. You go Precious, Mimi has your back.