Saturday, September 19, 2009


Seems like forever that I have blogged. Facebook has kinda taken its place. It is funny that we feel the necessity to post or publish out thoughts, our ups and downs.
And then wait for someone else to commit, as if we need to justify what we are feeling or saying. The best part comes when you post something that in your mind is profound and someone "LIKES" it. no words just like. What a sense of greatest you feel, feeling as if what you have made public is so good,or true that it leaves the over one hundred friends speechless. All they can do is say "Like It"
Funny how our human nature works.
What in us makes us want to let so many people know our every move in some cases. When we are up or down, happy or sad or in some cases I have seen just plain mad.

These things leave me to wonder. Are we that lonely and dont want to admit that? or are we that nosey that we like to look into each ones life's everyday. Perhaps it is even a bit of laziness. Not much effort to post your thoughts and feelings good or bad, allot of effort to pick up the phone ,drop a note or even make a talk date.What my sister and I sometimes do,go to the waffle house and catch up on family and life.
I cant help but think, we have just a need to be in touch with one another but in the most impersonal way.I am sure that if we had telepathic thoughts we could not even use the devices we have today and lord only knows that the future will bring along these lines.
Perhaps in my season of life, I am missing the old ways of pretty stationary and hand written letters. Little funny cards that sometimes made it my way, and always seem to arrive on just the right day when life just seemed to get you down, you open it and it either makes you laugh,cry or just smile. The thought that it was personally picked out for you just seems to make things better.
I have a friend Ms.Pasty that does that and I must tell her what a great ministry that is and how at some of the bleakest moments of my life, how that unexpected card made it my way and made me smile. The tought that someone invested the most valuable asset of today "TIME" Time to pick it out, write in it,stamp it (spoken from someone who has carried a note around for weeks just to put a stamp on it)and mailed it personally to you. What a pleasure to receive it among the sea of bills on any given day.
Ms. Pasty dont have a computer and I dont expect she every will. I would be surprised to know that she even knows what Facebook is, but after I am done with this, in her honor I will post a shout out to her just to let all others know how much I appreciate that personal touch in such a impersonal world.

Mabey it is even that we wont to be close but not to close. when that red flag goes up we just log off and be done with it for the moment.I am not sure that this is good for us the heart.
God created us to fellowship it says so in Hebrews.So whats my point in all this?
I guess just a note to self that perhaps every now and then I need to reach out and touch someone personally, by a card,phone call, or even a trip to the Waffle House and not loose that interpersonal skill that God put inside of us all. To reach out and sent the very best sometimes and be a Pasty now and then.
And this is a note to self,because everyone else is on FB :)

Friday, June 5, 2009

Imagine That

Peter Zarlenga was quoted to say " I am imagination. I can see what the eyes cannot see. I can hear what the ears cannot hear. I can feel what the heart cannot feel.

I had long forgotten what power the imagination can bring to a little boy. In this case 3 little boys. Cole, Jonah and Judah spend the night with me last night and despite the rain, the imagination arrived and just in time.
We decided to build a fort in the rain, that is what I recalled little boys and tom-boys doing, but thanks to the modern age of the Mickey Mouse Club the plan was quickly re routed to a club house.Or so I as informed by King Cole and his merry ole souls of his younger brothers Jonah and Judah.
OK I am game, a club house it is.
Well the very first thing that must be done I was informed by Mr. OCD was that it had to be swept out and some old toys removed. After that task was done and I felt we were still pretty safe in the rain ( no lighting ) Moving day commenced. At this point I retreated to finish dinner for Poppy and felt the back yard adventure would be pretty safe. Just rain no thunder or lighting, besides some of my greatest time as a child was playing in the rain or playing in rain filled ditches.

I was not sure what went in a club house but perhaps I should have thought that through a bit, after the 10th item that went out my back door to the said club house from various rooms of my house, and with each trip Cole came in with less and less cloths on I decided that perhaps I should check things out.Besides I really had not heard allot from the other two boys.
I ran into Cole in his underwear by this point ( its raining out side still )
No Judah or Jonah in sight at this point.
I stepped out side to find a club house that would have put Robin Currso to shame. Jonah is planting flowers in a sand pale because club houses must have flowers, not sure how he got all those fresh picked flowers from my front yard but he had done a really good job, Judah was just sitting in a little chair waiting and waiting and waiting, and as to the time of this blog, I am still not sure what he was waiting on, but he looked as if he was about to take off in a imaginary air plane, and Oh how I wished I had a camera with me,because the look on his face was priceless.
Now this Club House that even Mickey Mouse would have been pleased with was full of some of the following that I was informed no club house could be without. Bath towels,books,chairs,toys,book bags,a change of cloths for each of them, a Gamecock flag to keep the girls out, sleeping bags,blankets,tiki lights for when it get dark and of course fresh PULLED flowers.
The only thing I could think to do at this point was make some hot that is just what I did.

Lord thank you for these precious blessings and thank you for reminding me ever so sweetly how rich I really am. For material things will come and go, but hot chocolate smiles will live on for a life time.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Light in a Diming World

Wow... several weeks has come and gone since my last blog, and with that many things and events have come and gone as well, which gets me thinking, which often gets me in trouble.
Work as gotten so much worse, with people losing their jobs the anxiety rate as well as the depression has increased which calls for allot more energy on my part, that on some days I just don't have.
We decided to close J&K Doors for good and that brings on a whole new list of demands as well as debts, that frankly God has not shown me yet how we are going to get them paid yet, and although I am working hard not to worry about it,the thought sometimes creeps in.
Olivia despite recent week long hospital stay is really no better off than when she went in, except the fever is gone.
Buba Jack broke his hip and as I recall my own parents declining health I can not help but wonder if this is the start of many illness that accompanies age.
Groceries are going up, light bill up 2% again, women being attacked in day light hours, children killing each other, homes being broke into at a alarming rate and elderly being beating almost to death, Mothers killing their children , children killing their mothers and I saw recently where a husband has been charged with killing his wife and 2 sons.We wont even get into some personal task that I have decided to take on not only in my personal life but my spiritual life as well.
It makes you wont to put your hands over your ears and shout STOP THE MADNESS!!!! and run for cover.
We are in a awesome bible study about the end of days, lets just add one more thing to that heaping list of oh no's what was I thinking?? I love my bible study.
God speaks to me during these precious times that I set aside to study the word and read it.
Some will say that God speaks to them in quite walks, oceans crashing against the shore and even mountain tops, but I have found out there is a difference in God speaking to us and us learning about God. They only way to know who God is through his word, Him speaking to to us in those special places is a added treat,but it should not take the place of studying Gods words. God desires for to give us knowledge and understanding. fellowship is sweeter when you have gained knowledge of how awesome God is. And that is only found in studying Gods word.
So anyway as I was about to crawl in a whole someplace and locked down my house, store up on food and ammunition, I realized that among all the darkness there should be some light, and we as believers are the only light that can shine in a dim world as we have come to study we live in a Modern day Babylon. To sum it up in a nut shell " I am and there is not besides me" We have gotten use to decaying morals and standards, what ever makes ME happy. We as believers are allowing out lights to dim among darkness that is surrounding us.
End of days possible, all the study I have done recently is pointing right to it, but if my light can not shine now, how in the world will it be able to shine when the enemy really turns the heat up? but mostly how can I let down my God that has been so faithful to me by allowing what surrounds me to control me.
Beth Moore says in her study of Daniel: God desires for us to be light-bearers in this dark culture and to be highly effective fruit bearers for the glory of His name.
Our study raises the questions: Can we be culturally relevant for the cause of Christ without becoming spiritually irrelevant? Can we serve the world in the name of Christ without becoming a servant to the world? and finally the key questions can we live in this excessive, self-absorbed culture without becoming corrupted by it?
It becomes a very fine line in today times ( what may be left of it )
Letting our light shine, if it is bright enough we wont even have to use words, to show others the true light.

This is the message that we have heard from him and declare to you; God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in darkness we lie and do not live by the truth, But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus ,His son purifies us from all sin.
I John 1: 5-7

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Valley's and Mountain Tops

I was recently at the airport returning a rental car after a weekend adventure with my grands and Sugar. As I waited for Neil to pick me up, I caught out of the corner of my eyes a young man in a uniform saying his goodbyes to his family and girlfriend.
He did well giving what appeared to be his parents,a brave solders hug and then turned to hug is girlfriend or perhaps even his young wife, it was at that moment that emotions got the best of him and I saw him quickly start wiping the tears from his eye as he embraced her so tightly. I could not help but start to think how very hard that must be for the solder, his Mom and Dad and even the young girl,and thought back about 35 years ago when I went to the airport with a young man that I dated over the summer who was returning home after working in SC for that Summer.
It was hard to say goodbye to him and watch him leave,which made me start to think about some of the hard things I have done in my life to date. The ones I can write about.There are a few that cut so deep I can not even write them down.
So I decided to list some of the hardest things that I have done as of today's date, that I can list.
I am sure that in the future there will be more,but for now here are some and not necessarily in order:

1. Making the decision to start the medicine that would expedite my Mothers death and then saying goodbye.
2. Sitting in front of my daddy's casket and realizing that he would never call me again on my birthday and sing to me or dance with me again on this earth.
3. Saying good by to Kenny and hoping the decisions I helped Traci and Ken make burying Kenny would have been what they wanted if they could have processed it at the time.
4. Saying goodbye to Papa Nick( not for the loss,but for the never had )
5. Quiting school
6. Telling my children no when I wanted to say yes, hoping good life lesions would be learned
7. Breaking up with my first love.
8. Saying goodbyes at a airport.
9.Watching my son graduate from high school, because I knew my little boy was soon leaving home. The necessity to manhood.
10.Taking Sugar to collage that first year and leaving her ( left her bedroom light on for months.)
11.Not being able to fix my children's broken hearts.
12.Burying a pet.
13. Telling the truth when you know it is going to cost you and cost you good.
14. Letting go of childhood baggage.
15. Forgiving
16. Giving birth
17. Algebra
18. Loosing weight at 51
19. Sleeping
20. Empty Nest

I am sure through out my years there have been many more hard things I have had to endure,and I am sure there will be many more in this thing we call life.
I am glad that I have family and friends to help me through, but mostly I am thankful for a Savior that has had to hold me up when I could not hold my self up and intercede for me to God when I could not do anything but but make some kind of noise.
Someplace I read " you cant get to the top of the mountain with out going through the valley " Those valleys have been so very deep at times, but oh how sweet the mountain top can be, if only for a little while.And frankly I would go through a million vallys to be on the mountain top with God.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Did you Know

Did you know that out of over 100 channels on my TV rarely is there anything worth watching on.
Did you know that if you mix bleach and scrubbing bubbles you get breath taking fumes?
Did you know that my daddy was a cheerleader once in school?
Did you know that my granddaughter Olivia is the 4th generation of 'Olivia's"
Did you know that I like to hang out in cemetery's and read head stones?
Did you know that if you add up all my brothers and sisters (bio, adopted and step I have 11 brothers and sisters living and dead.
Did you know that I do not not believe in ghost
Did you know that my husband can not dance a lick but he can play a 12 string guitar and sing.
Did you know that my husband can not roller skate but he can water ski.
Did you know that I was actually the second child my parents adopted, the first little girl was ill and her name was Elaine.The adoption did not go through with because of her illness.
Did you know a bullet can travel 4000 feet a second ( depending on the gun )
Did you know my nick name as a child was Junkie Bug.
Did you know that I wanted to be a Nun as a child.
Did you know that my best friend name in grade school was Mimi and in jr and high school it was Vonda ( wonder were they are now?)
Did you know that my first pets name was Tinker. Which makes my stripper name Tinker Dubard
Did you know that my Mama hated school so much that when her Mother would walk her to school and leave, Mama would jump out the window and beat her Mother back home.
Did you know I had a imaginary friend as a child and her name was Elaine which really freaked my parents out.
Did you know that I played on a champion volley ball team in high school.
Did you know that you can not really see the Great Wall of China from space, its to thin.
Did you know that in ancient Japan they had farting contest? They must have had the same cahnnels I have.
Did you know that Elephants cry and laugh?
Did you know that if a Tiger and a Lion mate it is called a Liger ( no kidding )
Did you know that I still rmember my first Pastor's name and First youth leaders name,
Pastor T.W Mitchell and Iwana Guess ( I am going to look for her on face book when I am done. My Sunday school teacher was names Vera Quick and she went home to see Jesus about 5 years ago. She still called me until she died. I hope some of the kids I taught in Sunday School will remeber me so fondly.

Just in case you didnt know.

Saturday, March 14, 2009


I have come to the conclusion that when you get into your 50es you return to that dorky age of 8-10. For some reason I feel like a dork, and when I look at others about my age they look like dorks as well. I think this fact came to light when I for some unknown reason kicked a dogs water bowl over at my sisters house, not only did it get on the floor but It was a dead ringer for my sweet brother ( I have decided to remove in law from him name) for he has become a brother to me in so many ways. But that will be another blog , I am on the dorky thing right now.
any way the water went all over him,Just call me Grace"
The clothes feel dorky, the hair is dorky and grace is not were to be found when I run into the wall ( you know the one that has been there for YEARS!) I have bruises on my legs from running into things weekly.
And I don't know who buys the cloths they sale at Walmart but it just confirms my thoughts that you should never buy/ware clothes from walmart for they get the dork award as well.
And don't even get me started on the hair thing, what color is my hair???? Is is black and grey, or is is dark brown and silver hummm Not real sure, and I really have no guide lines to go by, sense my bio Mom is no longer living and my bio sisters all color their hair ( yea I brought you all out ) well not sure about Bobbi Joe, don't see her but once a year. And to keep it fair my step sister do as well.
I personally have this thing about dyeing my hair, and I have dyed my hair in the past, and it looked great but then something happen it is called ROOTS. I cant stand them. The color is pretty for about 2 weeks but then those roots start showing and unless you are doing root maintenance every 2 weeks and frankly I don't have the money or the time, they are going to show. Then I have flash backs of someone I know that walked in the room one day with self inflicted red hair, we ain't talking no Reba Red either we are talking BOZO red and with that red hair the statement was made " I wont grow old quietly "
Well her hair was not quite by no means, And yes her roots were showing .Puts a whole in the statement that only your hair dresser knows for sure.
NOT!!!! if those roots are showing.
But back to the dork thing, or better yet I wonder when this will all end.
I am learning as years come and go that we go through seasons, and each season comes and each season goes and I become older yes but a bit more experienced in this thing I called living on earth. Some days it makes me real homesick, and other days it make me glad that My Lord has given me another day to play and even laugh at myself especially during this dorky season that will pass. I recall someone saying to me once and I can not recall who, there goes that dork mind again you remember when you would ask that 8-10 year old something and they shrugged their shoulders and said I don't know, well I think they really didn't know. Anyway I recall them saying Whom ever it was " I just wont to grow old gracefully"
So do I, I just wont to be the best I can be at 51 and I wont to be that way with out roots, and dorky clothes and things that go bump in the night that are usually my legs. I don't wont to dress like I am 20 and I don't wont my hair to look like it is 30, because I am not 20 or 30 or even 40.I wont people to see me at 50 and think that I look good at 50, I am not ashemed that I am in my 50. My Mom used to say to me when she put on her blue jeans if she looked to old to ware blue jeans, and like so many other things I did not get when she was living I did not get that, but I do now, She wonted to be graceful and look the best she could look at her age. She knew that she no longer was 20 and she was tiring to embrace it. Well done Mom, because I have seen some Moms that don't get that ( At Walmart )
I came across a scripture yesterday in 1 Timothy 4 that says and I quote
" Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives tales rather train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and life to come"
So i guess my dorkitis ( medical meaning for infected with dork) will pass like most seasons do if I live through it, and when you see me if my hair looks dorky and I am bumping into walls and kicking over water bowls just laugh with me, because if you cant laugh at yourself you are the only one not in on the joke.
And I will find my pocket guard that holds all my pens What a minute that's nerd, Oh know could that be next???? and I will train myself to be godly and not shop for clothes at walmart.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Random Thoughts

As I sit here and prepare myself for another busy day, ramdom thoughts dance across my mind, no real thoughts for to long on one thing just various things that are dancing around my head. If I put them down then perhaps I can clean out my head a bit, kinda like you do when you delete all your old emails and cookies and spam.
Then I can go back and see what I wont to hang on to or what I wont to just forget about.

It makes me have a sad heart when people say things that they dont really mean.
I guess they get caught up in the moment and mean it at the time but just are unable to follow through with things.
It has been a busy couple of weeks for Neil and I. CJ is away again on trainning and when that happens we step up the Mimi and Poppy role to help out. Thank goodness for friends because family shor fails in this area. Sugar finally at her wits end harvested the boys out Friday to some of her friends who called and said what can I do to help, that was good. Judah got to go to the Zoo, Jonah got to go hang out with a pre school buddy and I have plum forgot what Cole got to do. I kept them Friday night after work so Sugar ould go have some grown up time, we all watch movies and fell a sleep. Jonah ( my gentle giant ) informed me that he really did like me.
We had been telling Cole we would try and get someone to take him to a basketball game, guess I need to pick up that slack and take that baby to a basketball game.
He forgets NOTHING

I am about ready to put some spring/summer colors in my house.
I am worried about my light bill this summer. Winter has been higher than normal
I have some big changes coming up in the next few months, looking forward to that.
Neil is growing in his bible every week, I am so pleased and I learned he knows nothing about fixing heaters ( ask Sugar )
This is a tough month for me, I really miss my crankey Mom, wondering what she is doing right now???
Excited about bible study I love learning about the bible. It is one of those things that is hard to get going but when you do you cant put it down.
Now that Neil is stepping up to the spiriutal plate, I cant help but wonder if we saty at the church we are at or if we will go someplace else.
They are cutting jobs at work, this shoud be instresting !!!!
I need to get busy and decided where to have Ashley wedding shower.
Should I go ahead and pull out my summer cloths???? wait, I think I threw most of the away last year.....hummm. Looks like some reatil thearpy
Gee my car is dirty.
I wont to trade it in for a beatle bug oh yea they are cutting jobs at the hospital. Better wait on that one.
Time to plan my summer vacation ( yea baby )
I still wont a bike ( there gose that job thing )
How old will Traci be 49 or 50 :):) Need to go get her present.
How can someone have so much family but never see or talk to them mabye I shuold look up that word in Websters perhaps I really dont know what it means.
I need to put flowers on Mama's grave
Olivia is not gainning much weight. I am about to get concerned.
I too wish they made a caffien patch
I spelled caffene wrong
Oh well I think I will just go get another cup of coffee, enough radom thoughts for today.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Tell Me

Has any noticed but me that this world has gone CRAZY!!!!! For the past several months I have noticed a severe decline in human morale. People are ruder,meaner,non-caring and flat out mean. Even at work between the patients that seem to just wont to pick a fight the co-workers attitudes that seem like they have been swimming in dill pickle juice it makes for what Alexander says is a " terrible,horrible,no good very bad day.
Now take all that and add to the mix of acute illness and chronic illness and add a dash of the general demands of the job and are you feeling me now???? And we wont EVEN go into personal stuff, so as Sugar would say " Man I need a dirty island "
that is talk for I need to sit on a warm beach with umbrella drinks listening to the waves roll in and out,
But as I sit and reflect a moment or two on all this, deep in my heart I know what is going on and if you read your bible you know as well.
The bad news is it is going to get worse, the good news is that God still is in controll and I am shore glad I am on HIS side.
Now this is a point of denial for some, I even have Christan friends that say, I know Jesus is coming back soon but don't think it is that soon. My only response to that is WHAT BIBLE ARE YOU READING.? Speaking of bibles I am reading Leviticus right now and I am so glad that I did not live back then because I would never get to come out of my tent!!!!!! Thank you Jesus for the cross.
God has shown me allot of things in His word lately some are encouraging and some are
I think the sad thing is I see people I know and love fall to the pray of complacency( help me here did Jesus not say that he could vomit complacency out of His Mouth) yuk!!!! and denial. This puzzled me quite a bit. it is like watching a freight train coming and you wont to yell YOU BIG DUMMY CANT YOU SEE WHAT IS IN FRONT OF YOU??
OK so help me out here... I know a few people that tune in to this blog and I thank you ,,but I wont some commits here. So give me some shout backs and let me know if I am a Lone ranger in this and what is going on around me. I sure hope My Holy Daddy has not left me out on this limb alone, but if he has I guess I better get a pair of gloves to hand to the rope with . So tell me Am I alone?

Thursday, February 12, 2009


Not to long ago I was driving home from work and as random thoughts filled my head one of those thoughts were some things that make me smile or giggle or laugh.
Although this list could go on and on, I decided to jot down a few things that bring a smile to my face lately.The Psalmist said it best,"Laughter is good medicine for the soul"So here a a few things that make me smile.giggle or just flat out laugh

The picture on Sugar blog right now
Big men in little cars
When my children figure out something I have been telling them for years
Parents tyring not to beat their children in public at Walmart
When I sit on my porch and the wind blows across my face. I call that kisses from God.
When people tuck their shirt in their underwear by mistake and walk out in public, this also includes toilet paper
When I am right about something
When Sugar and I get together and make redneck jokes
When me and Traci go to waffle house and view the other side of the tracks
Hanging out with Traci
When my grandchildren call me Mimi ( smile ) when they tell me they love me (and when they run to me for refuge
My husband , who has made a big change in the past few months He is really funny sometimes.
Food on peoples face that they forgot to wipe off
Hot fresh Krispy Cream Doughnuts
Remembering the funny things my Mom use to say
Remembering my daddy calling me 'Honey" and singing to me as we tried to dance to his singing
Shonda Pierce
Couples that are trying to argue in public and they are so mad that they just throw darts at each other as they stand in the check out line.
Hot baths
Good friends
My son doing his tax's on line

Thank you Lord, that my life is full of far more laughs and smiles than tears and heartbreak

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Most Excellent Day

What could be more fun on your 51st birthday than to laugh, be with the ones you are closest to and to of course go roller skating. Well as far as I am concerned nothing.
Because that is just what I did and it was as Wayne would have said in Waynes World "A Most Excellent Day" Several weeks ago I started thinking that my birthday that was up and coming and there was no way to stop it, unless Jesus called me home. Now I will admit that when I turned 30 that birthday bothered me, but sense then none of them really has, they were for the most part just another day, so this time I decided that I would spend it having fun, being with family that I could and most of all laughing and that is just what I did. My husband had me in laughing tears the most part of the day after I told him we were going roller skating, between all the commits like " have you fell and bumped your head women" and something about " My big ole butt" I did laughed until I almost cried.
Now I was not taking this day alone, I was dragging as many people that would go and the faithful came through plus two, my son Jason and his very lovely girlfriend of almost 3 years Jessica.I knew I could count on my daughter who lets face it after having 4 kids in less than 5 years needed a little fun, and my baby sister Traci who is always with me in all what in the heck are you thinking activitys, and Ken who is almost like one of the girls:):) faithful and true and there to capture our moment on film.
The day went great, after going to work out at Jazzersize because I was going to need all the energy I could get, I knew I may be in trouble when we worked on core muscles ( ya know that big ones in your legs that are needed when you skate) THANKS TERRI!!! but I was not going to let a hour of that stop me. When I got home my husband who thought he was going to get out of going skating took me shopping to get my birthday present. We got home just in time to take a hot bath because those big ole muscles in my big ole legs were starting to remind me they were present and accounted for.
So off we went and I myself as well as a few others that went had a great time.
My grand boys put their skates on and I won the bet of who would do better. Cole of course because has the more competitive edge than the others, Jonah remained docile for the most part and Judah stayed true to form and ended up in a fight with some other little boy the firs 30 minutes we were there.
Traci,Sugar,Jessica and Jason as well as myself did not fall not once (with our skates on ) I managed to topple over when I bend down to have my picture taken with Traci and lost my balance then ( there goes those core muscles ) and as any good older sister would have done, pulled her right down with me.
After a good hour or so at my house that I decided I was not going to clean up on my birthday ( and I didn't and didn't let it bother me either ) we ate cake yum yum opened a few gifts and laughed some more. It was then topped off by Neil taking me to dinner.
What a excellent day and a great way to turn 51.
I truly would not have ask for more.
Wait to they find out what I wont to do next year (lol)

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Mr.Kyzer If You Please

My daughter her husband and my grandchildren of some of my greatest joys in my life and provide quite a bit of constant entertainment on a daily basis.
But last night as my son Jason sat and shared with us his recent trip to the out back bowl so much went racing through my head.
I was no longer looking at the blond hair blue eyes little boy trying to explain to me how he tore up his 5th bike jumping ramps , I was looking a grown man instead. This is something I have never been able to do until now.
As he told of his adventure in Fla.( and let me add some of it was hilarious)
It was a bitter sweet Revelation. My baby boy has grown up. He spoke of adult things and carried on a conversation without all the drama and tales that children bring to the table when they tell of their recent adventures.
I looked at his arms and how strong they have become and his baby face has disappeared.
His eyes remain ever so blue but they too have changed a bit not in color but in age. As he told us of his trip I could hear things like responsibility and precautions ( WHERE IS MY LITTLE BOY?)Where is the child that hacked into the school computer and locked out the teachers so they could not enter in the grades, or the child that locked all the bathroom stalls so no one could get in unless they crawled under. The child that me and sister would go spy on because at one time the truth was no where to to found in him. All those tears I have cried over him, all those nights I spent on my knees on his behalf and the times I had to bail him out of trouble with his dad. I never thought he would make it "Oh there you are Peter"
But he has, and he is strong and he is slowly becoming wise, and his free spirit remains but I do detect some control over it.
All the decisions we made as parents some of them just broke my heart because I knew how badly he wonted some things and it was tough love to say no,he made it any way and perhaps a better man for the ware.
How selfish of me not to wont him to grow up. But he is and he is as beautiful as a young man as he was a little boy. I guess when I need to see the little boy I will just have to be like one of the lost boys in Peter Pan and look deep into his eyes and perhaps I will catch a glimpse of Jake the Snake as he was called as a child.
Jake he grew into as teenager and I guess now as he approaches 25 Mr. Kyzer will be in order.
Here's to you son, May you continue to grow wise and strong. I continue to pray that you will seek God with the passion that you live life and never forget I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN.
In the words of Rocky Balboa in Rocky 5 "tank yous sons for being born "