Monday, April 5, 2010

I Love Mayberry

My recent move has proven to be such a blessing, I realized this the other day when I was hanging up clothes outside. I could not help but think to my self how nice and simple this was. I was taken back in time that I normally don't like to travel to and that was as a child. Bad tends to over shadow the good, but I have notice lately that God has slowly replacing those bad memories with good ones and this seem to be one of those times.
One of my jobs when we lived with my Nanny was to take down the clothes from the cloths line,taking one pin down at a time and putting the clothes in a basket. There was 5 people sometimes in that little house so laundry could be in no short supply.and if dryers were around, we certainly did not have one. And as I stood there and took those clothes down I would day dream. I was very good at daydreaming. I daydreamed allot as a child, It was my escape.I have been Davie Jones girlfriend and a movie star on the big screen. I could sing like the best girl group and I could dance, I have traveled though space with Will Robinson and broke many of leading men's hearts at least until reality set it.Then my day dreams were put safely away to recall when I could mange to escape to that special place in my head or until it was time to take more clothes down.
But as I took in our clothes in my own back yard the other day,I looked around me and even though it did not seem like much from most people I know standards, I felt God breathe a sweet release on me, somehow I thought of Aunt Bee, Andy and Opie and the simple times that was reflected on that show.Sitting on front porches and waving at your neighbors as they went by. Putting peanuts in your coke, and home made ice cream.playing out side until dark, being barefooted and laying on grassy knolls and tiring to count the stars in the sky
I could not help but smile and say Thank you Holy Daddy for slowing me down and allowing me to recall such sweet fun memories. For reminding me that your yoke is easy and your burdens are light. That it is by my own hand that the stress of life gets me down. Thank you for reminding me that my real treasures are stored with you.That when I take inventory of what really matters, what matters will be what I have done for you and in your name.

Saturday, September 19, 2009


Seems like forever that I have blogged. Facebook has kinda taken its place. It is funny that we feel the necessity to post or publish out thoughts, our ups and downs.
And then wait for someone else to commit, as if we need to justify what we are feeling or saying. The best part comes when you post something that in your mind is profound and someone "LIKES" it. no words just like. What a sense of greatest you feel, feeling as if what you have made public is so good,or true that it leaves the over one hundred friends speechless. All they can do is say "Like It"
Funny how our human nature works.
What in us makes us want to let so many people know our every move in some cases. When we are up or down, happy or sad or in some cases I have seen just plain mad.

These things leave me to wonder. Are we that lonely and dont want to admit that? or are we that nosey that we like to look into each ones life's everyday. Perhaps it is even a bit of laziness. Not much effort to post your thoughts and feelings good or bad, allot of effort to pick up the phone ,drop a note or even make a talk date.What my sister and I sometimes do,go to the waffle house and catch up on family and life.
I cant help but think, we have just a need to be in touch with one another but in the most impersonal way.I am sure that if we had telepathic thoughts we could not even use the devices we have today and lord only knows that the future will bring along these lines.
Perhaps in my season of life, I am missing the old ways of pretty stationary and hand written letters. Little funny cards that sometimes made it my way, and always seem to arrive on just the right day when life just seemed to get you down, you open it and it either makes you laugh,cry or just smile. The thought that it was personally picked out for you just seems to make things better.
I have a friend Ms.Pasty that does that and I must tell her what a great ministry that is and how at some of the bleakest moments of my life, how that unexpected card made it my way and made me smile. The tought that someone invested the most valuable asset of today "TIME" Time to pick it out, write in it,stamp it (spoken from someone who has carried a note around for weeks just to put a stamp on it)and mailed it personally to you. What a pleasure to receive it among the sea of bills on any given day.
Ms. Pasty dont have a computer and I dont expect she every will. I would be surprised to know that she even knows what Facebook is, but after I am done with this, in her honor I will post a shout out to her just to let all others know how much I appreciate that personal touch in such a impersonal world.

Mabey it is even that we wont to be close but not to close. when that red flag goes up we just log off and be done with it for the moment.I am not sure that this is good for us the heart.
God created us to fellowship it says so in Hebrews.So whats my point in all this?
I guess just a note to self that perhaps every now and then I need to reach out and touch someone personally, by a card,phone call, or even a trip to the Waffle House and not loose that interpersonal skill that God put inside of us all. To reach out and sent the very best sometimes and be a Pasty now and then.
And this is a note to self,because everyone else is on FB :)

Friday, June 5, 2009

Imagine That

Peter Zarlenga was quoted to say " I am imagination. I can see what the eyes cannot see. I can hear what the ears cannot hear. I can feel what the heart cannot feel.

I had long forgotten what power the imagination can bring to a little boy. In this case 3 little boys. Cole, Jonah and Judah spend the night with me last night and despite the rain, the imagination arrived and just in time.
We decided to build a fort in the rain, that is what I recalled little boys and tom-boys doing, but thanks to the modern age of the Mickey Mouse Club the plan was quickly re routed to a club house.Or so I as informed by King Cole and his merry ole souls of his younger brothers Jonah and Judah.
OK I am game, a club house it is.
Well the very first thing that must be done I was informed by Mr. OCD was that it had to be swept out and some old toys removed. After that task was done and I felt we were still pretty safe in the rain ( no lighting ) Moving day commenced. At this point I retreated to finish dinner for Poppy and felt the back yard adventure would be pretty safe. Just rain no thunder or lighting, besides some of my greatest time as a child was playing in the rain or playing in rain filled ditches.

I was not sure what went in a club house but perhaps I should have thought that through a bit, after the 10th item that went out my back door to the said club house from various rooms of my house, and with each trip Cole came in with less and less cloths on I decided that perhaps I should check things out.Besides I really had not heard allot from the other two boys.
I ran into Cole in his underwear by this point ( its raining out side still )
No Judah or Jonah in sight at this point.
I stepped out side to find a club house that would have put Robin Currso to shame. Jonah is planting flowers in a sand pale because club houses must have flowers, not sure how he got all those fresh picked flowers from my front yard but he had done a really good job, Judah was just sitting in a little chair waiting and waiting and waiting, and as to the time of this blog, I am still not sure what he was waiting on, but he looked as if he was about to take off in a imaginary air plane, and Oh how I wished I had a camera with me,because the look on his face was priceless.
Now this Club House that even Mickey Mouse would have been pleased with was full of some of the following that I was informed no club house could be without. Bath towels,books,chairs,toys,book bags,a change of cloths for each of them, a Gamecock flag to keep the girls out, sleeping bags,blankets,tiki lights for when it get dark and of course fresh PULLED flowers.
The only thing I could think to do at this point was make some hot that is just what I did.

Lord thank you for these precious blessings and thank you for reminding me ever so sweetly how rich I really am. For material things will come and go, but hot chocolate smiles will live on for a life time.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Light in a Diming World

Wow... several weeks has come and gone since my last blog, and with that many things and events have come and gone as well, which gets me thinking, which often gets me in trouble.
Work as gotten so much worse, with people losing their jobs the anxiety rate as well as the depression has increased which calls for allot more energy on my part, that on some days I just don't have.
We decided to close J&K Doors for good and that brings on a whole new list of demands as well as debts, that frankly God has not shown me yet how we are going to get them paid yet, and although I am working hard not to worry about it,the thought sometimes creeps in.
Olivia despite recent week long hospital stay is really no better off than when she went in, except the fever is gone.
Buba Jack broke his hip and as I recall my own parents declining health I can not help but wonder if this is the start of many illness that accompanies age.
Groceries are going up, light bill up 2% again, women being attacked in day light hours, children killing each other, homes being broke into at a alarming rate and elderly being beating almost to death, Mothers killing their children , children killing their mothers and I saw recently where a husband has been charged with killing his wife and 2 sons.We wont even get into some personal task that I have decided to take on not only in my personal life but my spiritual life as well.
It makes you wont to put your hands over your ears and shout STOP THE MADNESS!!!! and run for cover.
We are in a awesome bible study about the end of days, lets just add one more thing to that heaping list of oh no's what was I thinking?? I love my bible study.
God speaks to me during these precious times that I set aside to study the word and read it.
Some will say that God speaks to them in quite walks, oceans crashing against the shore and even mountain tops, but I have found out there is a difference in God speaking to us and us learning about God. They only way to know who God is through his word, Him speaking to to us in those special places is a added treat,but it should not take the place of studying Gods words. God desires for to give us knowledge and understanding. fellowship is sweeter when you have gained knowledge of how awesome God is. And that is only found in studying Gods word.
So anyway as I was about to crawl in a whole someplace and locked down my house, store up on food and ammunition, I realized that among all the darkness there should be some light, and we as believers are the only light that can shine in a dim world as we have come to study we live in a Modern day Babylon. To sum it up in a nut shell " I am and there is not besides me" We have gotten use to decaying morals and standards, what ever makes ME happy. We as believers are allowing out lights to dim among darkness that is surrounding us.
End of days possible, all the study I have done recently is pointing right to it, but if my light can not shine now, how in the world will it be able to shine when the enemy really turns the heat up? but mostly how can I let down my God that has been so faithful to me by allowing what surrounds me to control me.
Beth Moore says in her study of Daniel: God desires for us to be light-bearers in this dark culture and to be highly effective fruit bearers for the glory of His name.
Our study raises the questions: Can we be culturally relevant for the cause of Christ without becoming spiritually irrelevant? Can we serve the world in the name of Christ without becoming a servant to the world? and finally the key questions can we live in this excessive, self-absorbed culture without becoming corrupted by it?
It becomes a very fine line in today times ( what may be left of it )
Letting our light shine, if it is bright enough we wont even have to use words, to show others the true light.

This is the message that we have heard from him and declare to you; God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in darkness we lie and do not live by the truth, But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus ,His son purifies us from all sin.
I John 1: 5-7

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Valley's and Mountain Tops

I was recently at the airport returning a rental car after a weekend adventure with my grands and Sugar. As I waited for Neil to pick me up, I caught out of the corner of my eyes a young man in a uniform saying his goodbyes to his family and girlfriend.
He did well giving what appeared to be his parents,a brave solders hug and then turned to hug is girlfriend or perhaps even his young wife, it was at that moment that emotions got the best of him and I saw him quickly start wiping the tears from his eye as he embraced her so tightly. I could not help but start to think how very hard that must be for the solder, his Mom and Dad and even the young girl,and thought back about 35 years ago when I went to the airport with a young man that I dated over the summer who was returning home after working in SC for that Summer.
It was hard to say goodbye to him and watch him leave,which made me start to think about some of the hard things I have done in my life to date. The ones I can write about.There are a few that cut so deep I can not even write them down.
So I decided to list some of the hardest things that I have done as of today's date, that I can list.
I am sure that in the future there will be more,but for now here are some and not necessarily in order:

1. Making the decision to start the medicine that would expedite my Mothers death and then saying goodbye.
2. Sitting in front of my daddy's casket and realizing that he would never call me again on my birthday and sing to me or dance with me again on this earth.
3. Saying good by to Kenny and hoping the decisions I helped Traci and Ken make burying Kenny would have been what they wanted if they could have processed it at the time.
4. Saying goodbye to Papa Nick( not for the loss,but for the never had )
5. Quiting school
6. Telling my children no when I wanted to say yes, hoping good life lesions would be learned
7. Breaking up with my first love.
8. Saying goodbyes at a airport.
9.Watching my son graduate from high school, because I knew my little boy was soon leaving home. The necessity to manhood.
10.Taking Sugar to collage that first year and leaving her ( left her bedroom light on for months.)
11.Not being able to fix my children's broken hearts.
12.Burying a pet.
13. Telling the truth when you know it is going to cost you and cost you good.
14. Letting go of childhood baggage.
15. Forgiving
16. Giving birth
17. Algebra
18. Loosing weight at 51
19. Sleeping
20. Empty Nest

I am sure through out my years there have been many more hard things I have had to endure,and I am sure there will be many more in this thing we call life.
I am glad that I have family and friends to help me through, but mostly I am thankful for a Savior that has had to hold me up when I could not hold my self up and intercede for me to God when I could not do anything but but make some kind of noise.
Someplace I read " you cant get to the top of the mountain with out going through the valley " Those valleys have been so very deep at times, but oh how sweet the mountain top can be, if only for a little while.And frankly I would go through a million vallys to be on the mountain top with God.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Did you Know

Did you know that out of over 100 channels on my TV rarely is there anything worth watching on.
Did you know that if you mix bleach and scrubbing bubbles you get breath taking fumes?
Did you know that my daddy was a cheerleader once in school?
Did you know that my granddaughter Olivia is the 4th generation of 'Olivia's"
Did you know that I like to hang out in cemetery's and read head stones?
Did you know that if you add up all my brothers and sisters (bio, adopted and step I have 11 brothers and sisters living and dead.
Did you know that I do not not believe in ghost
Did you know that my husband can not dance a lick but he can play a 12 string guitar and sing.
Did you know that my husband can not roller skate but he can water ski.
Did you know that I was actually the second child my parents adopted, the first little girl was ill and her name was Elaine.The adoption did not go through with because of her illness.
Did you know a bullet can travel 4000 feet a second ( depending on the gun )
Did you know my nick name as a child was Junkie Bug.
Did you know that I wanted to be a Nun as a child.
Did you know that my best friend name in grade school was Mimi and in jr and high school it was Vonda ( wonder were they are now?)
Did you know that my first pets name was Tinker. Which makes my stripper name Tinker Dubard
Did you know that my Mama hated school so much that when her Mother would walk her to school and leave, Mama would jump out the window and beat her Mother back home.
Did you know I had a imaginary friend as a child and her name was Elaine which really freaked my parents out.
Did you know that I played on a champion volley ball team in high school.
Did you know that you can not really see the Great Wall of China from space, its to thin.
Did you know that in ancient Japan they had farting contest? They must have had the same cahnnels I have.
Did you know that Elephants cry and laugh?
Did you know that if a Tiger and a Lion mate it is called a Liger ( no kidding )
Did you know that I still rmember my first Pastor's name and First youth leaders name,
Pastor T.W Mitchell and Iwana Guess ( I am going to look for her on face book when I am done. My Sunday school teacher was names Vera Quick and she went home to see Jesus about 5 years ago. She still called me until she died. I hope some of the kids I taught in Sunday School will remeber me so fondly.

Just in case you didnt know.