Sunday, April 19, 2009

Valley's and Mountain Tops

I was recently at the airport returning a rental car after a weekend adventure with my grands and Sugar. As I waited for Neil to pick me up, I caught out of the corner of my eyes a young man in a uniform saying his goodbyes to his family and girlfriend.
He did well giving what appeared to be his parents,a brave solders hug and then turned to hug is girlfriend or perhaps even his young wife, it was at that moment that emotions got the best of him and I saw him quickly start wiping the tears from his eye as he embraced her so tightly. I could not help but start to think how very hard that must be for the solder, his Mom and Dad and even the young girl,and thought back about 35 years ago when I went to the airport with a young man that I dated over the summer who was returning home after working in SC for that Summer.
It was hard to say goodbye to him and watch him leave,which made me start to think about some of the hard things I have done in my life to date. The ones I can write about.There are a few that cut so deep I can not even write them down.
So I decided to list some of the hardest things that I have done as of today's date, that I can list.
I am sure that in the future there will be more,but for now here are some and not necessarily in order:

1. Making the decision to start the medicine that would expedite my Mothers death and then saying goodbye.
2. Sitting in front of my daddy's casket and realizing that he would never call me again on my birthday and sing to me or dance with me again on this earth.
3. Saying good by to Kenny and hoping the decisions I helped Traci and Ken make burying Kenny would have been what they wanted if they could have processed it at the time.
4. Saying goodbye to Papa Nick( not for the loss,but for the never had )
5. Quiting school
6. Telling my children no when I wanted to say yes, hoping good life lesions would be learned
7. Breaking up with my first love.
8. Saying goodbyes at a airport.
9.Watching my son graduate from high school, because I knew my little boy was soon leaving home. The necessity to manhood.
10.Taking Sugar to collage that first year and leaving her ( left her bedroom light on for months.)
11.Not being able to fix my children's broken hearts.
12.Burying a pet.
13. Telling the truth when you know it is going to cost you and cost you good.
14. Letting go of childhood baggage.
15. Forgiving
16. Giving birth
17. Algebra
18. Loosing weight at 51
19. Sleeping
20. Empty Nest

I am sure through out my years there have been many more hard things I have had to endure,and I am sure there will be many more in this thing we call life.
I am glad that I have family and friends to help me through, but mostly I am thankful for a Savior that has had to hold me up when I could not hold my self up and intercede for me to God when I could not do anything but but make some kind of noise.
Someplace I read " you cant get to the top of the mountain with out going through the valley " Those valleys have been so very deep at times, but oh how sweet the mountain top can be, if only for a little while.And frankly I would go through a million vallys to be on the mountain top with God.

1 comment:

Traci said...

you are Good on No. 3!!! Lub you, long time :)