Dorkitis

I have come to the conclusion that when you get into your 50es you return to that dorky age of 8-10. For some reason I feel like a dork, and when I look at others about my age they look like dorks as well. I think this fact came to light when I for some unknown reason kicked a dogs water bowl over at my sisters house, not only did it get on the floor but It was a dead ringer for my sweet brother ( I have decided to remove in law from him name) for he has become a brother to me in so many ways. But that will be another blog , I am on the dorky thing right now.
any way the water went all over him,Just call me Grace"
The clothes feel dorky, the hair is dorky and grace is not were to be found when I run into the wall ( you know the one that has been there for YEARS!) I have bruises on my legs from running into things weekly.
And I don't know who buys the cloths they sale at Walmart but it just confirms my thoughts that you should never buy/ware clothes from walmart for they get the dork award as well.
And don't even get me started on the hair thing, what color is my hair???? Is is black and grey, or is is dark brown and silver hummm Not real sure, and I really have no guide lines to go by, sense my bio Mom is no longer living and my bio sisters all color their hair ( yea I brought you all out ) well not sure about Bobbi Joe, don't see her but once a year. And to keep it fair my step sister do as well.
I personally have this thing about dyeing my hair, and I have dyed my hair in the past, and it looked great but then something happen it is called ROOTS. I cant stand them. The color is pretty for about 2 weeks but then those roots start showing and unless you are doing root maintenance every 2 weeks and frankly I don't have the money or the time, they are going to show. Then I have flash backs of someone I know that walked in the room one day with self inflicted red hair, we ain't talking no Reba Red either we are talking BOZO red and with that red hair the statement was made " I wont grow old quietly "
Well her hair was not quite by no means, And yes her roots were showing .Puts a whole in the statement that only your hair dresser knows for sure.
NOT!!!! if those roots are showing.
But back to the dork thing, or better yet I wonder when this will all end.
I am learning as years come and go that we go through seasons, and each season comes and each season goes and I become older yes but a bit more experienced in this thing I called living on earth. Some days it makes me real homesick, and other days it make me glad that My Lord has given me another day to play and even laugh at myself especially during this dorky season that will pass. I recall someone saying to me once and I can not recall who, there goes that dork mind again you remember when you would ask that 8-10 year old something and they shrugged their shoulders and said I don't know, well I think they really didn't know. Anyway I recall them saying Whom ever it was " I just wont to grow old gracefully"
So do I, I just wont to be the best I can be at 51 and I wont to be that way with out roots, and dorky clothes and things that go bump in the night that are usually my legs. I don't wont to dress like I am 20 and I don't wont my hair to look like it is 30, because I am not 20 or 30 or even 40.I wont people to see me at 50 and think that I look good at 50, I am not ashemed that I am in my 50. My Mom used to say to me when she put on her blue jeans if she looked to old to ware blue jeans, and like so many other things I did not get when she was living I did not get that, but I do now, She wonted to be graceful and look the best she could look at her age. She knew that she no longer was 20 and she was tiring to embrace it. Well done Mom, because I have seen some Moms that don't get that ( At Walmart )
I came across a scripture yesterday in 1 Timothy 4 that says and I quote
" Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives tales rather train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and life to come"
So i guess my dorkitis ( medical meaning for infected with dork) will pass like most seasons do if I live through it, and when you see me if my hair looks dorky and I am bumping into walls and kicking over water bowls just laugh with me, because if you cant laugh at yourself you are the only one not in on the joke.
And I will find my pocket guard that holds all my pens What a minute that's nerd, Oh know could that be next???? and I will train myself to be godly and not shop for clothes at walmart.

Random Thoughts

As I sit here and prepare myself for another busy day, ramdom thoughts dance across my mind, no real thoughts for to long on one thing just various things that are dancing around my head. If I put them down then perhaps I can clean out my head a bit, kinda like you do when you delete all your old emails and cookies and spam.
Then I can go back and see what I wont to hang on to or what I wont to just forget about.

It makes me have a sad heart when people say things that they dont really mean.
I guess they get caught up in the moment and mean it at the time but just are unable to follow through with things.
It has been a busy couple of weeks for Neil and I. CJ is away again on trainning and when that happens we step up the Mimi and Poppy role to help out. Thank goodness for friends because family shor fails in this area. Sugar finally at her wits end harvested the boys out Friday to some of her friends who called and said what can I do to help, that was good. Judah got to go to the Zoo, Jonah got to go hang out with a pre school buddy and I have plum forgot what Cole got to do. I kept them Friday night after work so Sugar ould go have some grown up time, we all watch movies and fell a sleep. Jonah ( my gentle giant ) informed me that he really did like me.
We had been telling Cole we would try and get someone to take him to a basketball game, guess I need to pick up that slack and take that baby to a basketball game.
He forgets NOTHING

I am about ready to put some spring/summer colors in my house.
I am worried about my light bill this summer. Winter has been higher than normal
I have some big changes coming up in the next few months, looking forward to that.
Neil is growing in his bible every week, I am so pleased and I learned he knows nothing about fixing heaters ( ask Sugar )
This is a tough month for me, I really miss my crankey Mom, wondering what she is doing right now???
Excited about bible study I love learning about the bible. It is one of those things that is hard to get going but when you do you cant put it down.
Now that Neil is stepping up to the spiriutal plate, I cant help but wonder if we saty at the church we are at or if we will go someplace else.
They are cutting jobs at work, this shoud be instresting !!!!
I need to get busy and decided where to have Ashley wedding shower.
Should I go ahead and pull out my summer cloths???? wait, I think I threw most of the away last year.....hummm. Looks like some reatil thearpy
Gee my car is dirty.
I wont to trade it in for a beatle bug oh yea they are cutting jobs at the hospital. Better wait on that one.
Time to plan my summer vacation ( yea baby )
I still wont a bike ( there gose that job thing )
How old will Traci be 49 or 50 :):) Need to go get her present.
How can someone have so much family but never see or talk to them mabye I shuold look up that word in Websters perhaps I really dont know what it means.
I need to put flowers on Mama's grave
Olivia is not gainning much weight. I am about to get concerned.
I too wish they made a caffien patch
I spelled caffene wrong
Oh well I think I will just go get another cup of coffee, enough radom thoughts for today.