Monday, November 3, 2008

Counting my Blessings

A few weeks ago as we sat down to eat dinner, my dear husband was forced to say the blessing.
This is something he is doing more and more lately, to his defense, but normally it is I. This night I had already stuffed something in my mouth and my words would not form so I relented and squeezed his hand and he followed the cue and stepped right up to the plate and said the blessing. One thing I have noticed with him is that no matter when or when or what, he always thanks God for our blessings.
Now I am thankful for the many things that God has blessed me with, but like most people unless it is something big, I tend to over look the little things that warms my heart each day. I so often fail to thank my Lord and Savior for the smaller things that are relevant to me.
So today I am including a active prayer in my blog on the things that warms my heart each day that God has blessed me with.

Lord forgive me for allowing the world to demand so much of my attention that I take my eyes off of you, and forgive me for minimizing the blessings in my life that are not on a bigger scale.
Thank you for for the way I feel when Olivia smiles at me and all you see is squinted eyes and gums, or when my grand boys call my name with excitement. Thank you that I can see, touch, and smell the beauty of this world around me, the way that my breath catches the early morning air and I am reminded that you gave me breath and you are the only one that can take it away.
I am awed to feel the rain on my face but more than that I love to close my eyes and feel the wind blow, for that reminds me that even though I can not see you or touch you right now, you are still there.
I love to smell coffee brewing and that feeling I get after the first sip in the morning, that makes me feel warm in my tummy.
I am touched when I hear children playing in the distance and it reminds me of some of my founder childhood memories. You are slowly erasing the bad ones and replacing them with the good ones, the ones I had long forgotten.
For naps and blankets to curl up in and warm fuzzes on my feet.
For fleeing moments with those that I love, and how when that time comes to a end, how thankful I was to have a few minutes of their day, for neither one of us may not have tomorrow left to share on earth , and Daddy I dont ever wont to forget that fact.
For fireplaces and warm beaches and music Lord, how I do love me some music and may my heart sing a joyful noise unto you for now and forever more.
For the times when my sister and I go and do crazy things and we laugh, so often more at ourselves than others, it gives me a good feeling inside.For big people in little cars that for some reasonthat just cracks me up.
For times that I get the giggles at all the wrong moments and for the big ole belly laughs that brings me to tears.
Thank you sweet Lord for the memories that I hold dear to my heart, and the tears of pain and joy that you personally keep in a special store house.
For the way it makes me feel when I am at home and Neil burst in and calls me "woman of the house '' I cant help but good inside when I hear that.
Lord thank you that through all my failures as a parent my children respect me, and I feel a sense of pride at the respect they show me and I pray that you will bless them for this respect and make their lives long ones as your word promises it will do.
Holy Daddy I could sit all day and think of the small things that touch me in so many ways, but once again the demands of my day are at hand, and I must go,but I wonted to thank you for these things that warm my heart, I am sorry it has taken me so long. Continue to bless this servant of yours and bless those that take a few minutes from their day to read this public display worship and praise.

It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to your name O Most High. To declare your lovingkindness in the morning and your faithfulness every night. Psm 92:1-2

In your name Jesus
Amen

Monday, October 20, 2008

A Place for New Beginnings

Recently I have been going to a little church that meets at Pelion High School. I came about it quite by accident and I went one Sunday, and with the exception of one Sunday I had my grand boys I have been there each Sunday sense.
I have been compelled to go to this little church with a rather big name. New Life Christan Fellowship Baptist Church. " A place for New Beginnings"
Now for many of you, I have shared my LONG journey of finding a church home. I thought a couple of times that I had found it but could never get total peace. I have prayed and cried out to God and griped and mourned and groaned but it did me no good, and for a long time I was getting worried. My sister told me once that I over analyzed things and I could not help but wonder if this was part of the problem. Then someone told me that It was not important what church you go to as long as you go and it is a bible teaching church, well I could not get peace about ether one of those responses.
I has taken me a L-O-N-G time to even figure out what I was looking for in a church home. And I often got caught up in emotion as well as duty that it had clouded my perception a bit.
So I set just a few simple things into my head that I was looking for in a church home and of course I continued to pray about it hoping that I could get some light on why I was having so much trouble, although I did not expect much of a answer because for some reason those prayers have seem to hit the ceiling and go no further.
But never the less that was the plan.
But as I continue to go to New Life I felt more and more at home.
Now I have been part of big churches and I have been part of Small churches but I have never been part of a church plant, so I found this in its self very interesting. How neat to watch a church grow from 20- 200 to 500, who knows. I only know that my little church with a big name has a big heart, and big plans and a desire to reach the lost and at the same time know your name.
The task is big and this road may be long, but the company is sweet, and as I think about how long it has taken me to get to this place, I realize that Gods timing is perfect. That at any other time in my journey I would not have been ready for New Life and New life would have not been ready for me.
It does matter to God where you go to church, and although I am still not sure that all the analyzing was needed, it did prove to be helpful in shorting out my thoughts and desires about a church home.
The other churches have been great and I have learned allot, but for the most part there was a sadness that I could not understand at the time. I realized that one day recently I opened my bible. See I keep in my bible two very special memorials, one is my Mama's and one is Kenny's my nephew.
My home church I cant help but think about my mama when I walk in those doors. That was the only church she new and when she got well that is were she wonted to go. We never knew that her healing would be far greater than a physical one, never the less she never made it back there and I could not help but think of that each time I walked through those doors. And for Seacoast where I called home for a while, I think about Kenny, who was making his way back home as well, Only thing is he kept on going. He made it all the way home. Kenny has taught me more in his death than when he was with us. Things that I hold near and dear, but still bitter sweet memories when I walked through those doors as well. These are some of the things I could not find peace with nor did I recognize that until now. Finally the light got bigger, and I realized as the old saying goes....You cant go home.
So I have found me a new home "Finally" one that is ready for fresh memories and one that allot of help is needed and I am ready to get giggie with it, it has been a long time.
So this little church with he great big heart called New Life Christian Fellowship Baptist Church
" A Place for New Beginnings'' is going to be my home because I am sure ready for some new beginnings and to watch what God is going to do now.
A long name yes, but perfect indeed.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Life according to La Tay

Yesterday would have been my Mama's 82 birthday,if she had been living. I am not sure what she would have thought about turning 82. Age was not kind to mama but then again life had not been to kind to her either. So as I thought of her yesterday I had what my grandson Cole would have called a sad heart pretty much all day, and as I went to bed last night I could not help but feel a great loneliness. Something mama worried about for some reason, me being lonely. So much so that on her dieing bed she made my poor baby sister make a promise that she would not leave me alone. A promise that is impossible to keep. For a time I thought it was just something mama worried about thought the whole death process, but now I am not so sure. I think mama worried about me being alone through my life and despite our often turbulent relationship my mom worried about me my whole life. Now I have to be careful, because as so many people do they tend to glorify the loved ones that have gone home, we just don't wont to think ill of the dead, so we are always quick to bring out the good and not the bad, so lets just say my mom was a tough bird as my husband so kindly puts it. As Forrest Gump would say that is all I am going to say about that.
I have learned so much about her in death, and come to realize that she has taught me allot. Now these lessons have mostly been a bit unconventional lessons, but they are life lessons just the same. I like to call them "Life according to La Tay " She has taught me allot. so I thought I would share just 10 things that come into my head, that I have learned, in honor of my mama's 82 birthday.
1. Navy blue always looks good with white.
2. Bitterness will eat you up in side if you let it.
3. When you truly love someone, you love them for a life time.( no matter what )
4. You can not really cook good with out fat back
5. First impressions are lasting
6. You never ware white after summer, no matter what crazy people say
7. Hamburgers with onions are part of the food chain
8. You never mess with a mama's child unless you are ready to fight.
9. Dance while you are still able to. ( mama loved to dance )
10 Friendship is a life time deal.

Happy Birthday Mama.!!!!!!!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Glimsp of Heaven

My daughter recently invited me and a select few others t0 a bible study at the church she is attending. Realizing my need for a bible structure. a study that some one will hold me accountable in the studying of the word of God, and working out of a book and then meeting back up with others to talk about and refine and correct is a great way t0 be held accountable, and to make sure you are on the right tract. Let us not forget that satin is a deceiver and would like nothing more than for Christians to miss interrupt the word of God.
Second it allows you to be in fellowship with many other believers, in this case women, who all share the same things that Christan women deal with, work,home,husbands,job,and Christ.so then it becomes a bit of relationship thing that women need. ( yes fellows we need )
Well the study is by Beth More titled When Godly people do ungodly things, and if you have every studied with her or been to one of her conferences you know right off the bat two things.
She is biblical sound and this is going to hurt.
Well let me tell you, it did not take Satan long to hit me full force with distractions in MANY forms, so my first thought is GREAT!!!! this must be where I need to be studying what I need to be studying for the next 6 weeks.So I girded up my loin ( that bible talk for pulled up my big girl panties and sucked it it ) and I started praying to my Holy Daddy for help, and I got ready for a heart change ( which is normally what these kinds of studies do ) and you know heart surgery hurts. My father in law told me once, when a study hurts that is when you know that you are on the right track. OUCH!
So any way, I walk in this room and said to myself "self you are one of the oldest women in this class" and self said yes you are, but don't you look good, and as I tell my much younger prettier sister, that beauty fades, but wisdom is forever, I was wondering how I fit in to this and I felt a bit out of place. But in the coarse of the evening as we all talked and shared a bit I began to realize something awesome. EVERY ONE OF THOSE WOMEN IN THAT ROOM,WERE BORN AGAIN,SANCTIFIED,GODLY WOMEN, that wonted to be there, they were hungry for God words and they were willing to put EVERTHING on hold to get it. I could just imagine that was what it must have looked like when Jesus stop to teach ( but on a bigger scale ) undevided attenion .and it was incredible. As Kirk Franking sings " all eyes on you Jesus, all eyes on you " To be in a complete room of saints like that my heart welled up and I could not stop crying and when they prayed it hit me, God allowed me to get a teeny tiny peak of what it if going to be like in heaven, to walk among the saints in one accord, to share and pray and most importantly praise. In all my Christan walk I have never been exposed to so many solid saints in one room, that I have felt such power. Here is the other kicker, we shared prayer request not the ones that you throw out in a crowd so people don't think your life is perfect, we shared deep request, as for mime already I see God moving with the answers.
With that brings a whole new perspective when it tells us in God words that he answers the prayers of the righteous. not that I ever doubted that, but never have I seen it happen so fast.
What a ride this is going to be and I am sooooooooo excited. I may limp for a while but my heart even leaps for that.
So at this moment, I think when I get to heaven, I will probably do a whole lot of crying, good tears of course but if that glimsp is anything like I felt in that room, it will be tears.
LET THE REDEEMED SAY SO!!!!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Good Friends

This morning found a very cool breeze greeting me as I got up and started my day. And with that breeze I found good friends, I have waited all summer long to reconnect with my friends, and as good friends will do, they were waiting on me too. I did not have to do any searching, they were just where I have put them months ago. Sitting quietly waiting on me to remember all the cool days they comforted me. Never whining or complaining, just waiting on me to bring them back into my day. Yes it was my pink fuzzy bedroom shoes, I reached for them and there they were, a bit older and bit more swap sided but ready and eager to please. As I put my feet into them and the warmth engulfed my toes, I could not help but stop for a moment of silence for the pink fuzzy animal that gave up its hide to make my pink fuzzy bedroom shoes and was convinced that there is a special place in heaven for these wonderful creatures.
Oh they have not been without their own drama, the times my daughter has come and slipped them on her feet as if no one noticed, with total disregard to the fact that they don't fit her but each time I have rescued them and kept them in the fold, and the time that Buba ( my dog ) thought he could take one to his bed and hide it to make it a object of his affections, but this plan was quickly foiled and my pink fuzzy bedroom shoe was reunited with its mate and with me.
Yes with fall comes the cool breeze and the chilly mornings and the return of my pink fuzzy bedroom shoes........life ain't so bad.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Tapestry

Carol Kings sings a song titled Tapestry. In this song she speaks of the tapestry of life and how that it is woven into bits of blue ( sad times) and gold ( good times ) you can feel it and see it but you cant hold it. Because holding it would give you control over it and we do not have control over our lives, past a certain point.
As I returned home from a weekend with my sisters, I would not help but think of that song and how well it seem to fit.
Once a year we try and come together as a family, and we all plan to go, but life happens and I find it interesting to see which set of family members end up coming. I myself have had to forfeit a trip. It is almost like the prize in a happy meal, you know there is one and you are excited about it you are just not sure which one you are going to get. I also love to see how the year has changed us. But no matter who is there we all seem to at some point look back at the tapestry we had all come from. The names, the places, the time and the events that took place ( wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold )
For some the changes have been subtle for some painful. And with each trip no matter what I always learn something that I did not know before.
So this morning I reflect on that.
For one of my sisters, I learned that she is not as obtuse as she thinks she is, it is more of a insecurity for her, I have never really seen that in her in the small amount of time that I have spent with her.
For another sister, the pain of her loses were evident in more ways than one. And I think for the later lost we all grieved a bit with her in a private place, for me it was on my way home when I tossed a kiss and a muttered missed ya under my breath.
I learned of a honesty in a niece that I would not help but respect, and a strength that I had not seen in the past. Her gait she had set into motion and the beginning of her tapestry was set.
I learned that Cole will fall asleep eventually, and I think for the first time I really listened to his laugh. It is deep and comes from his heart. I only wish that he would always laugh and never know the pain of life, then if that were to be the case, his tapestry would be a solid color and therefore not a tapestry at all.
As for the men folk, It was nice to see them all share the love of a sport that I myself are learning to enjoy. Neil was right ( but don't tell him I said so ) God just kinda hangs over your shoulder when you fish and in the quite of His creation , HE is only a whisper away. But then again isn't that always the case? God is only a whisper away. Perhaps it is more of I am only a whisper away from God, He is the one that don't have to shout at me.
As for me, I came to realize that my tapestry continues and will until God calls me home, rich in golds and blues and I hope that some where along that way my colors after they are woven will keep my family warm because in my colors of blue and gold there is also the color of love and I was reminded of that in a poem my Mama had given me many years ago, title Legacy Of A Adopted Child"The the last paragraph reads: " The age old question through the years, Heredity or environment which are you the product of neither my darling neither just two different kinds of love


Now thats gold!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

God our Defender

In my quite time today there was a big question. What is God doing when you are in a bind? When the lifeboat springs a leak? When the rip cord snaps? When the last penny is gone before the last bill is paid.....I know what we are doing. Nibbling on nails like corn on the cob. Pacing floors. Taking pills, but what dose God do, that was the question and part of a response from my favorite Arthur Max Lacado.
Which prompt me to think, why do we pace and worry. What is it that will not ease up when things are not so easy. What is it that holds on to the things that we should just let go of if indeed Christ is in our hearts? Is it free will overload? I wonder that because Christ allows us to have a free will or should I say loves us so much that we have free will, have we like everything thing else in our life's Overloaded on it. We over work, we over eat, we over sleep, or dont sleep at all, we over analyzed, over spend over and over. Is that what happens to that precious gift of free will. Jesus says, just love me by your own free will and I will take care of everything else, and we cant even do that.So I think for my sake I am going to work on that "over" issue and try and trust the one who says in Exod. 14;14 I will fight for you.
The rest of the devotion went on to say.
" What does God do?.....
He fights for us. He steps into the ring and points us to the corner and takes over. Remain calm; the Lord will fight for you. His job is to fight. Out job is to trust. Just trust. Not direct ( that's me ) or question....our job is to pray and wait.

Humm, something to think about.