Life's a Dance

I Love Mayberry

2010-04-05T19:08:00.000-07:00

My recent move has proven to be such a blessing, I realized this the other day when I was hanging up clothes outside. I could not help but think to my self how nice and simple this was. I was taken back in time that I normally don't like to travel to and that was as a child. Bad tends to over shadow the good, but I have notice lately that God has slowly replacing those bad memories with good ones and this seem to be one of those times.
One of my jobs when we lived with my Nanny was to take down the clothes from the cloths line,taking one pin down at a time and putting the clothes in a basket. There was 5 people sometimes in that little house so laundry could be in no short supply.and if dryers were around, we certainly did not have one. And as I stood there and took those clothes down I would day dream. I was very good at daydreaming. I daydreamed allot as a child, It was my escape.I have been Davie Jones girlfriend and a movie star on the big screen. I could sing like the best girl group and I could dance, I have traveled though space with Will Robinson and broke many of leading men's hearts at least until reality set it.Then my day dreams were put safely away to recall when I could mange to escape to that special place in my head or until it was time to take more clothes down.
But as I took in our clothes in my own back yard the other day,I looked around me and even though it did not seem like much from most people I know standards, I felt God breathe a sweet release on me, somehow I thought of Aunt Bee, Andy and Opie and the simple times that was reflected on that show.Sitting on front porches and waving at your neighbors as they went by. Putting peanuts in your coke, and home made ice cream.playing out side until dark, being barefooted and laying on grassy knolls and tiring to count the stars in the sky
I could not help but smile and say Thank you Holy Daddy for slowing me down and allowing me to recall such sweet fun memories. For reminding me that your yoke is easy and your burdens are light. That it is by my own hand that the stress of life gets me down. Thank you for reminding me that my real treasures are stored with you.That when I take inventory of what really matters, what matters will be what I have done for you and in your name.

FACEBOOK

2009-09-19T02:18:00.000-07:00

Seems like forever that I have blogged. Facebook has kinda taken its place. It is funny that we feel the necessity to post or publish out thoughts, our ups and downs.
And then wait for someone else to commit, as if we need to justify what we are feeling or saying. The best part comes when you post something that in your mind is profound and someone "LIKES" it. no words just like. What a sense of greatest you feel, feeling as if what you have made public is so good,or true that it leaves the over one hundred friends speechless. All they can do is say "Like It"
Funny how our human nature works.
What in us makes us want to let so many people know our every move in some cases. When we are up or down, happy or sad or in some cases I have seen just plain mad.

These things leave me to wonder. Are we that lonely and dont want to admit that? or are we that nosey that we like to look into each ones life's everyday. Perhaps it is even a bit of laziness. Not much effort to post your thoughts and feelings good or bad, allot of effort to pick up the phone ,drop a note or even make a talk date.What my sister and I sometimes do,go to the waffle house and catch up on family and life.
I cant help but think, we have just a need to be in touch with one another but in the most impersonal way.I am sure that if we had telepathic thoughts we could not even use the devices we have today and lord only knows that the future will bring along these lines.
Perhaps in my season of life, I am missing the old ways of pretty stationary and hand written letters. Little funny cards that sometimes made it my way, and always seem to arrive on just the right day when life just seemed to get you down, you open it and it either makes you laugh,cry or just smile. The thought that it was personally picked out for you just seems to make things better.
I have a friend Ms.Pasty that does that and I must tell her what a great ministry that is and how at some of the bleakest moments of my life, how that unexpected card made it my way and made me smile. The tought that someone invested the most valuable asset of today "TIME" Time to pick it out, write in it,stamp it (spoken from someone who has carried a note around for weeks just to put a stamp on it)and mailed it personally to you. What a pleasure to receive it among the sea of bills on any given day.
Ms. Pasty dont have a computer and I dont expect she every will. I would be surprised to know that she even knows what Facebook is, but after I am done with this, in her honor I will post a shout out to her just to let all others know how much I appreciate that personal touch in such a impersonal world.

Mabey it is even that we wont to be close but not to close. when that red flag goes up we just log off and be done with it for the moment.I am not sure that this is good for us the heart.
God created us to fellowship it says so in Hebrews.So whats my point in all this?
I guess just a note to self that perhaps every now and then I need to reach out and touch someone personally, by a card,phone call, or even a trip to the Waffle House and not loose that interpersonal skill that God put inside of us all. To reach out and sent the very best sometimes and be a Pasty now and then.
And this is a note to self,because everyone else is on FB :)

Imagine That

2009-06-05T05:04:00.000-07:00

Peter Zarlenga was quoted to say " I am imagination. I can see what the eyes cannot see. I can hear what the ears cannot hear. I can feel what the heart cannot feel.

I had long forgotten what power the imagination can bring to a little boy. In this case 3 little boys. Cole, Jonah and Judah spend the night with me last night and despite the rain, the imagination arrived and just in time.
We decided to build a fort in the rain, that is what I recalled little boys and tom-boys doing, but thanks to the modern age of the Mickey Mouse Club the plan was quickly re routed to a club house.Or so I as informed by King Cole and his merry ole souls of his younger brothers Jonah and Judah.
OK I am game, a club house it is.
Well the very first thing that must be done I was informed by Mr. OCD was that it had to be swept out and some old toys removed. After that task was done and I felt we were still pretty safe in the rain ( no lighting ) Moving day commenced. At this point I retreated to finish dinner for Poppy and felt the back yard adventure would be pretty safe. Just rain no thunder or lighting, besides some of my greatest time as a child was playing in the rain or playing in rain filled ditches.

I was not sure what went in a club house but perhaps I should have thought that through a bit, after the 10th item that went out my back door to the said club house from various rooms of my house, and with each trip Cole came in with less and less cloths on I decided that perhaps I should check things out.Besides I really had not heard allot from the other two boys.
I ran into Cole in his underwear by this point ( its raining out side still )
No Judah or Jonah in sight at this point.
I stepped out side to find a club house that would have put Robin Currso to shame. Jonah is planting flowers in a sand pale because club houses must have flowers, not sure how he got all those fresh picked flowers from my front yard but he had done a really good job, Judah was just sitting in a little chair waiting and waiting and waiting, and as to the time of this blog, I am still not sure what he was waiting on, but he looked as if he was about to take off in a imaginary air plane, and Oh how I wished I had a camera with me,because the look on his face was priceless.
Now this Club House that even Mickey Mouse would have been pleased with was full of some of the following that I was informed no club house could be without. Bath towels,books,chairs,toys,book bags,a change of cloths for each of them, a Gamecock flag to keep the girls out, sleeping bags,blankets,tiki lights for when it get dark and of course fresh PULLED flowers.
The only thing I could think to do at this point was make some hot chocolate..................so that is just what I did.

Lord thank you for these precious blessings and thank you for reminding me ever so sweetly how rich I really am. For material things will come and go, but hot chocolate smiles will live on for a life time.

2009-06-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

Light in a Diming World

2009-05-18T04:00:00.000-07:00

Wow... several weeks has come and gone since my last blog, and with that many things and events have come and gone as well, which gets me thinking, which often gets me in trouble.
Work as gotten so much worse, with people losing their jobs the anxiety rate as well as the depression has increased which calls for allot more energy on my part, that on some days I just don't have.
We decided to close J&K Doors for good and that brings on a whole new list of demands as well as debts, that frankly God has not shown me yet how we are going to get them paid yet, and although I am working hard not to worry about it,the thought sometimes creeps in.
Olivia despite recent week long hospital stay is really no better off than when she went in, except the fever is gone.
Buba Jack broke his hip and as I recall my own parents declining health I can not help but wonder if this is the start of many illness that accompanies age.
Groceries are going up, light bill up 2% again, women being attacked in day light hours, children killing each other, homes being broke into at a alarming rate and elderly being beating almost to death, Mothers killing their children , children killing their mothers and I saw recently where a husband has been charged with killing his wife and 2 sons.We wont even get into some personal task that I have decided to take on not only in my personal life but my spiritual life as well.
It makes you wont to put your hands over your ears and shout STOP THE MADNESS!!!! and run for cover.
We are in a awesome bible study about the end of days, lets just add one more thing to that heaping list of oh no's what was I thinking?? I love my bible study.
God speaks to me during these precious times that I set aside to study the word and read it.
Some will say that God speaks to them in quite walks, oceans crashing against the shore and even mountain tops, but I have found out there is a difference in God speaking to us and us learning about God. They only way to know who God is through his word, Him speaking to to us in those special places is a added treat,but it should not take the place of studying Gods words. God desires for to give us knowledge and understanding. fellowship is sweeter when you have gained knowledge of how awesome God is. And that is only found in studying Gods word.
So anyway as I was about to crawl in a whole someplace and locked down my house, store up on food and ammunition, I realized that among all the darkness there should be some light, and we as believers are the only light that can shine in a dim world as we have come to study we live in a Modern day Babylon. To sum it up in a nut shell " I am and there is not besides me" We have gotten use to decaying morals and standards, what ever makes ME happy. We as believers are allowing out lights to dim among darkness that is surrounding us.
End of days possible, all the study I have done recently is pointing right to it, but if my light can not shine now, how in the world will it be able to shine when the enemy really turns the heat up? but mostly how can I let down my God that has been so faithful to me by allowing what surrounds me to control me.
Beth Moore says in her study of Daniel: God desires for us to be light-bearers in this dark culture and to be highly effective fruit bearers for the glory of His name.
Our study raises the questions: Can we be culturally relevant for the cause of Christ without becoming spiritually irrelevant? Can we serve the world in the name of Christ without becoming a servant to the world? and finally the key questions can we live in this excessive, self-absorbed culture without becoming corrupted by it?
It becomes a very fine line in today times ( what may be left of it )
Letting our light shine, if it is bright enough we wont even have to use words, to show others the true light.

This is the message that we have heard from him and declare to you; God is light; in Him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in darkness we lie and do not live by the truth, But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another and the blood of Jesus ,His son purifies us from all sin.
I John 1: 5-7

Valley's and Mountain Tops

2009-04-19T19:55:00.000-07:00

I was recently at the airport returning a rental car after a weekend adventure with my grands and Sugar. As I waited for Neil to pick me up, I caught out of the corner of my eyes a young man in a uniform saying his goodbyes to his family and girlfriend.
He did well giving what appeared to be his parents,a brave solders hug and then turned to hug is girlfriend or perhaps even his young wife, it was at that moment that emotions got the best of him and I saw him quickly start wiping the tears from his eye as he embraced her so tightly. I could not help but start to think how very hard that must be for the solder, his Mom and Dad and even the young girl,and thought back about 35 years ago when I went to the airport with a young man that I dated over the summer who was returning home after working in SC for that Summer.
It was hard to say goodbye to him and watch him leave,which made me start to think about some of the hard things I have done in my life to date. The ones I can write about.There are a few that cut so deep I can not even write them down.
So I decided to list some of the hardest things that I have done as of today's date, that I can list.
I am sure that in the future there will be more,but for now here are some and not necessarily in order:

1. Making the decision to start the medicine that would expedite my Mothers death and then saying goodbye.
2. Sitting in front of my daddy's casket and realizing that he would never call me again on my birthday and sing to me or dance with me again on this earth.
3. Saying good by to Kenny and hoping the decisions I helped Traci and Ken make burying Kenny would have been what they wanted if they could have processed it at the time.
4. Saying goodbye to Papa Nick( not for the loss,but for the never had )
5. Quiting school
6. Telling my children no when I wanted to say yes, hoping good life lesions would be learned
7. Breaking up with my first love.
8. Saying goodbyes at a airport.
9.Watching my son graduate from high school, because I knew my little boy was soon leaving home. The necessity to manhood.
10.Taking Sugar to collage that first year and leaving her ( left her bedroom light on for months.)
11.Not being able to fix my children's broken hearts.
12.Burying a pet.
13. Telling the truth when you know it is going to cost you and cost you good.
14. Letting go of childhood baggage.
15. Forgiving
16. Giving birth
17. Algebra
18. Loosing weight at 51
19. Sleeping
20. Empty Nest

I am sure through out my years there have been many more hard things I have had to endure,and I am sure there will be many more in this thing we call life.
I am glad that I have family and friends to help me through, but mostly I am thankful for a Savior that has had to hold me up when I could not hold my self up and intercede for me to God when I could not do anything but but make some kind of noise.
Someplace I read " you cant get to the top of the mountain with out going through the valley " Those valleys have been so very deep at times, but oh how sweet the mountain top can be, if only for a little while.And frankly I would go through a million vallys to be on the mountain top with God.

Did you Know

2009-04-04T18:17:00.000-07:00

Did you know that out of over 100 channels on my TV rarely is there anything worth watching on.
Did you know that if you mix bleach and scrubbing bubbles you get breath taking fumes?
Did you know that my daddy was a cheerleader once in school?
Did you know that my granddaughter Olivia is the 4th generation of 'Olivia's"
Did you know that I like to hang out in cemetery's and read head stones?
Did you know that if you add up all my brothers and sisters (bio, adopted and step I have 11 brothers and sisters living and dead.
Did you know that I do not not believe in ghost
Did you know that my husband can not dance a lick but he can play a 12 string guitar and sing.
Did you know that my husband can not roller skate but he can water ski.
Did you know that I was actually the second child my parents adopted, the first little girl was ill and her name was Elaine.The adoption did not go through with because of her illness.
Did you know a bullet can travel 4000 feet a second ( depending on the gun )
Did you know my nick name as a child was Junkie Bug.
Did you know that I wanted to be a Nun as a child.
Did you know that my best friend name in grade school was Mimi and in jr and high school it was Vonda ( wonder were they are now?)
Did you know that my first pets name was Tinker. Which makes my stripper name Tinker Dubard
Did you know that my Mama hated school so much that when her Mother would walk her to school and leave, Mama would jump out the window and beat her Mother back home.
Did you know I had a imaginary friend as a child and her name was Elaine which really freaked my parents out.
Did you know that I played on a champion volley ball team in high school.
Did you know that you can not really see the Great Wall of China from space, its to thin.
Did you know that in ancient Japan they had farting contest? They must have had the same cahnnels I have.
Did you know that Elephants cry and laugh?
Did you know that if a Tiger and a Lion mate it is called a Liger ( no kidding )
Did you know that I still rmember my first Pastor's name and First youth leaders name,
Pastor T.W Mitchell and Iwana Guess ( I am going to look for her on face book when I am done. My Sunday school teacher was names Vera Quick and she went home to see Jesus about 5 years ago. She still called me until she died. I hope some of the kids I taught in Sunday School will remeber me so fondly.

Just in case you didnt know.

Dorkitis

2009-03-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

I have come to the conclusion that when you get into your 50es you return to that dorky age of 8-10. For some reason I feel like a dork, and when I look at others about my age they look like dorks as well. I think this fact came to light when I for some unknown reason kicked a dogs water bowl over at my sisters house, not only did it get on the floor but It was a dead ringer for my sweet brother ( I have decided to remove in law from him name) for he has become a brother to me in so many ways. But that will be another blog , I am on the dorky thing right now.
any way the water went all over him,Just call me Grace"
The clothes feel dorky, the hair is dorky and grace is not were to be found when I run into the wall ( you know the one that has been there for YEARS!) I have bruises on my legs from running into things weekly.
And I don't know who buys the cloths they sale at Walmart but it just confirms my thoughts that you should never buy/ware clothes from walmart for they get the dork award as well.
And don't even get me started on the hair thing, what color is my hair???? Is is black and grey, or is is dark brown and silver hummm Not real sure, and I really have no guide lines to go by, sense my bio Mom is no longer living and my bio sisters all color their hair ( yea I brought you all out ) well not sure about Bobbi Joe, don't see her but once a year. And to keep it fair my step sister do as well.
I personally have this thing about dyeing my hair, and I have dyed my hair in the past, and it looked great but then something happen it is called ROOTS. I cant stand them. The color is pretty for about 2 weeks but then those roots start showing and unless you are doing root maintenance every 2 weeks and frankly I don't have the money or the time, they are going to show. Then I have flash backs of someone I know that walked in the room one day with self inflicted red hair, we ain't talking no Reba Red either we are talking BOZO red and with that red hair the statement was made " I wont grow old quietly "
Well her hair was not quite by no means, And yes her roots were showing .Puts a whole in the statement that only your hair dresser knows for sure.
NOT!!!! if those roots are showing.
But back to the dork thing, or better yet I wonder when this will all end.
I am learning as years come and go that we go through seasons, and each season comes and each season goes and I become older yes but a bit more experienced in this thing I called living on earth. Some days it makes me real homesick, and other days it make me glad that My Lord has given me another day to play and even laugh at myself especially during this dorky season that will pass. I recall someone saying to me once and I can not recall who, there goes that dork mind again you remember when you would ask that 8-10 year old something and they shrugged their shoulders and said I don't know, well I think they really didn't know. Anyway I recall them saying Whom ever it was " I just wont to grow old gracefully"
So do I, I just wont to be the best I can be at 51 and I wont to be that way with out roots, and dorky clothes and things that go bump in the night that are usually my legs. I don't wont to dress like I am 20 and I don't wont my hair to look like it is 30, because I am not 20 or 30 or even 40.I wont people to see me at 50 and think that I look good at 50, I am not ashemed that I am in my 50. My Mom used to say to me when she put on her blue jeans if she looked to old to ware blue jeans, and like so many other things I did not get when she was living I did not get that, but I do now, She wonted to be graceful and look the best she could look at her age. She knew that she no longer was 20 and she was tiring to embrace it. Well done Mom, because I have seen some Moms that don't get that ( At Walmart )
I came across a scripture yesterday in 1 Timothy 4 that says and I quote
" Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives tales rather train yourself to be godly. For physical training is of some value but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and life to come"
So i guess my dorkitis ( medical meaning for infected with dork) will pass like most seasons do if I live through it, and when you see me if my hair looks dorky and I am bumping into walls and kicking over water bowls just laugh with me, because if you cant laugh at yourself you are the only one not in on the joke.
And I will find my pocket guard that holds all my pens What a minute that's nerd, Oh know could that be next???? and I will train myself to be godly and not shop for clothes at walmart.

Random Thoughts

2009-03-08T05:52:00.000-07:00

As I sit here and prepare myself for another busy day, ramdom thoughts dance across my mind, no real thoughts for to long on one thing just various things that are dancing around my head. If I put them down then perhaps I can clean out my head a bit, kinda like you do when you delete all your old emails and cookies and spam.
Then I can go back and see what I wont to hang on to or what I wont to just forget about.

It makes me have a sad heart when people say things that they dont really mean.
I guess they get caught up in the moment and mean it at the time but just are unable to follow through with things.
It has been a busy couple of weeks for Neil and I. CJ is away again on trainning and when that happens we step up the Mimi and Poppy role to help out. Thank goodness for friends because family shor fails in this area. Sugar finally at her wits end harvested the boys out Friday to some of her friends who called and said what can I do to help, that was good. Judah got to go to the Zoo, Jonah got to go hang out with a pre school buddy and I have plum forgot what Cole got to do. I kept them Friday night after work so Sugar ould go have some grown up time, we all watch movies and fell a sleep. Jonah ( my gentle giant ) informed me that he really did like me.
We had been telling Cole we would try and get someone to take him to a basketball game, guess I need to pick up that slack and take that baby to a basketball game.
He forgets NOTHING

I am about ready to put some spring/summer colors in my house.
I am worried about my light bill this summer. Winter has been higher than normal
I have some big changes coming up in the next few months, looking forward to that.
Neil is growing in his bible every week, I am so pleased and I learned he knows nothing about fixing heaters ( ask Sugar )
This is a tough month for me, I really miss my crankey Mom, wondering what she is doing right now???
Excited about bible study I love learning about the bible. It is one of those things that is hard to get going but when you do you cant put it down.
Now that Neil is stepping up to the spiriutal plate, I cant help but wonder if we saty at the church we are at or if we will go someplace else.
They are cutting jobs at work, this shoud be instresting !!!!
I need to get busy and decided where to have Ashley wedding shower.
Should I go ahead and pull out my summer cloths???? wait, I think I threw most of the away last year.....hummm. Looks like some reatil thearpy
Gee my car is dirty.
I wont to trade it in for a beatle bug oh yea they are cutting jobs at the hospital. Better wait on that one.
Time to plan my summer vacation ( yea baby )
I still wont a bike ( there gose that job thing )
How old will Traci be 49 or 50 :):) Need to go get her present.
How can someone have so much family but never see or talk to them mabye I shuold look up that word in Websters perhaps I really dont know what it means.
I need to put flowers on Mama's grave
Olivia is not gainning much weight. I am about to get concerned.
I too wish they made a caffien patch
I spelled caffene wrong
Oh well I think I will just go get another cup of coffee, enough radom thoughts for today.

Tell Me

2009-02-20T06:03:00.000-08:00

Has any noticed but me that this world has gone CRAZY!!!!! For the past several months I have noticed a severe decline in human morale. People are ruder,meaner,non-caring and flat out mean. Even at work between the patients that seem to just wont to pick a fight the co-workers attitudes that seem like they have been swimming in dill pickle juice it makes for what Alexander says is a " terrible,horrible,no good very bad day.
Now take all that and add to the mix of acute illness and chronic illness and add a dash of the general demands of the job and are you feeling me now???? And we wont EVEN go into personal stuff, so as Sugar would say " Man I need a dirty island "
that is talk for I need to sit on a warm beach with umbrella drinks listening to the waves roll in and out,
But as I sit and reflect a moment or two on all this, deep in my heart I know what is going on and if you read your bible you know as well.
The bad news is it is going to get worse, the good news is that God still is in controll and I am shore glad I am on HIS side.
Now this is a point of denial for some, I even have Christan friends that say, I know Jesus is coming back soon but don't think it is that soon. My only response to that is WHAT BIBLE ARE YOU READING.? Speaking of bibles I am reading Leviticus right now and I am so glad that I did not live back then because I would never get to come out of my tent!!!!!! Thank you Jesus for the cross.
God has shown me allot of things in His word lately some are encouraging and some are
painful.
I think the sad thing is I see people I know and love fall to the pray of complacency( help me here did Jesus not say that he could vomit complacency out of His Mouth) yuk!!!! and denial. This puzzled me quite a bit. it is like watching a freight train coming and you wont to yell YOU BIG DUMMY CANT YOU SEE WHAT IS IN FRONT OF YOU??
OK so help me out here... I know a few people that tune in to this blog and I thank you ,,but I wont some commits here. So give me some shout backs and let me know if I am a Lone ranger in this and what is going on around me. I sure hope My Holy Daddy has not left me out on this limb alone, but if he has I guess I better get a pair of gloves to hand to the rope with . So tell me Am I alone?

LOL

2009-02-12T05:58:00.001-08:00

Not to long ago I was driving home from work and as random thoughts filled my head one of those thoughts were some things that make me smile or giggle or laugh.
Although this list could go on and on, I decided to jot down a few things that bring a smile to my face lately.The Psalmist said it best,"Laughter is good medicine for the soul"So here a a few things that make me smile.giggle or just flat out laugh

The picture on Sugar blog right now
Big men in little cars
When my children figure out something I have been telling them for years
Parents tyring not to beat their children in public at Walmart
When I sit on my porch and the wind blows across my face. I call that kisses from God.
When people tuck their shirt in their underwear by mistake and walk out in public, this also includes toilet paper
When I am right about something
When Sugar and I get together and make redneck jokes
When me and Traci go to waffle house and view the other side of the tracks
Hanging out with Traci
When my grandchildren call me Mimi ( smile ) when they tell me they love me (and when they run to me for refuge
My husband , who has made a big change in the past few months He is really funny sometimes.
Food on peoples face that they forgot to wipe off
Hot fresh Krispy Cream Doughnuts
Remembering the funny things my Mom use to say
Remembering my daddy calling me 'Honey" and singing to me as we tried to dance to his singing
Shonda Pierce
Couples that are trying to argue in public and they are so mad that they just throw darts at each other as they stand in the check out line.
Elmo
Hot baths
Good friends
Family
My son doing his tax's on line

Thank you Lord, that my life is full of far more laughs and smiles than tears and heartbreak

Most Excellent Day

2009-01-25T02:53:00.000-08:00

What could be more fun on your 51st birthday than to laugh, be with the ones you are closest to and to of course go roller skating. Well as far as I am concerned nothing.
Because that is just what I did and it was as Wayne would have said in Waynes World "A Most Excellent Day" Several weeks ago I started thinking that my birthday that was up and coming and there was no way to stop it, unless Jesus called me home. Now I will admit that when I turned 30 that birthday bothered me, but sense then none of them really has, they were for the most part just another day, so this time I decided that I would spend it having fun, being with family that I could and most of all laughing and that is just what I did. My husband had me in laughing tears the most part of the day after I told him we were going roller skating, between all the commits like " have you fell and bumped your head women" and something about " My big ole butt" I did laughed until I almost cried.
Now I was not taking this day alone, I was dragging as many people that would go and the faithful came through plus two, my son Jason and his very lovely girlfriend of almost 3 years Jessica.I knew I could count on my daughter who lets face it after having 4 kids in less than 5 years needed a little fun, and my baby sister Traci who is always with me in all what in the heck are you thinking activitys, and Ken who is almost like one of the girls:):) faithful and true and there to capture our moment on film.
The day went great, after going to work out at Jazzersize because I was going to need all the energy I could get, I knew I may be in trouble when we worked on core muscles ( ya know that big ones in your legs that are needed when you skate) THANKS TERRI!!! but I was not going to let a hour of that stop me. When I got home my husband who thought he was going to get out of going skating took me shopping to get my birthday present. We got home just in time to take a hot bath because those big ole muscles in my big ole legs were starting to remind me they were present and accounted for.
So off we went and I myself as well as a few others that went had a great time.
My grand boys put their skates on and I won the bet of who would do better. Cole of course because has the more competitive edge than the others, Jonah remained docile for the most part and Judah stayed true to form and ended up in a fight with some other little boy the firs 30 minutes we were there.
Traci,Sugar,Jessica and Jason as well as myself did not fall not once (with our skates on ) I managed to topple over when I bend down to have my picture taken with Traci and lost my balance then ( there goes those core muscles ) and as any good older sister would have done, pulled her right down with me.
After a good hour or so at my house that I decided I was not going to clean up on my birthday ( and I didn't and didn't let it bother me either ) we ate cake yum yum opened a few gifts and laughed some more. It was then topped off by Neil taking me to dinner.
What a excellent day and a great way to turn 51.
I truly would not have ask for more.
Wait to they find out what I wont to do next year (lol)

Mr.Kyzer If You Please

2009-01-03T05:17:00.000-08:00

My daughter her husband and my grandchildren of some of my greatest joys in my life and provide quite a bit of constant entertainment on a daily basis.
But last night as my son Jason sat and shared with us his recent trip to the out back bowl so much went racing through my head.
I was no longer looking at the blond hair blue eyes little boy trying to explain to me how he tore up his 5th bike jumping ramps , I was looking a grown man instead. This is something I have never been able to do until now.
As he told of his adventure in Fla.( and let me add some of it was hilarious)
It was a bitter sweet Revelation. My baby boy has grown up. He spoke of adult things and carried on a conversation without all the drama and tales that children bring to the table when they tell of their recent adventures.
I looked at his arms and how strong they have become and his baby face has disappeared.
His eyes remain ever so blue but they too have changed a bit not in color but in age. As he told us of his trip I could hear things like responsibility and precautions ( WHERE IS MY LITTLE BOY?)Where is the child that hacked into the school computer and locked out the teachers so they could not enter in the grades, or the child that locked all the bathroom stalls so no one could get in unless they crawled under. The child that me and sister would go spy on because at one time the truth was no where to to found in him. All those tears I have cried over him, all those nights I spent on my knees on his behalf and the times I had to bail him out of trouble with his dad. I never thought he would make it "Oh there you are Peter"
But he has, and he is strong and he is slowly becoming wise, and his free spirit remains but I do detect some control over it.
All the decisions we made as parents some of them just broke my heart because I knew how badly he wonted some things and it was tough love to say no,he made it any way and perhaps a better man for the ware.
How selfish of me not to wont him to grow up. But he is and he is as beautiful as a young man as he was a little boy. I guess when I need to see the little boy I will just have to be like one of the lost boys in Peter Pan and look deep into his eyes and perhaps I will catch a glimpse of Jake the Snake as he was called as a child.
Jake he grew into as teenager and I guess now as he approaches 25 Mr. Kyzer will be in order.
Here's to you son, May you continue to grow wise and strong. I continue to pray that you will seek God with the passion that you live life and never forget I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR NUMBER ONE FAN.
In the words of Rocky Balboa in Rocky 5 "tank yous sons for being born "

A fine one indeed

2008-12-25T19:25:00.000-08:00

Well Christmas has come and almost gone. As I sit here and look at the mess around me to include toys,wrapping paper and dishes, It is really OK.I dont feel stressed or even bent out of shape about it. My husband gave me french coffee press which is the purest way to make coffee and I may never sleep again,but that is OK. Just more of life to live with my eyes open.
This was a good Christmas and although all my family was not with me, they were in my heart. We laughed, we ate and we laughed some more. And even though I did drop a tear of two for those that are in heaven, it was still a good Christmas. And after I get up and clean up this mess tomorrow I will prepare to meet the year 2009 head on.
I am not one for resolutions but there are some things I would like to put in to place.
One thing is to slow down a bit and as the old saying goes stop and smell the flowers.
I wont to laugh a bit more at myself and perhaps not take life so seriously not that I took it all that seriously to start with.
I wont to dance more and I wont to teach my grandchildren to dance.
I wont to find a new God spot. Mine is to sad now to go to so I need a new one,
My prayer life is really suffering and I need to fix that for shore.
These are just a few things.
My color for 2009 will be red. I really like the color red.
This Christmas is gone and I wonder what next year will bring, but that is only a fleeting thought. I have never been one to think that far ahead. I am sure there will be change there always is. Lets hope they are good ones.
Meanwhile as the song plays " Where are you Christmas " it reminds me that Christmas is family that is here and you can share with and it truly resides in your heart, and not in a place.This Christmas will be packed up very soon and along with it this years memories and I file this one as a fine one indeed. Amazing what a positive mind set will do for you. Look out 2009. I will be meeting you head on and with my dance shoes on.

Christmas Tree on Jasper Street

2008-11-30T05:43:00.000-08:00

I was sitting the other night rather enjoying my Christmas decor in my living room.
The fireplace was burning, my Nativity scene was in tack for the moment ( no grand boys yet to kidnap baby Jesus ) I must say all I needed was some snow which by the way I am praying for to make it Christmas card perfect. At that moment I was taking back in time to a place long forgotten in my memory. I just love it when God brings those memories back. I like to call them a kiss on the cheek memory. Growing up for me was not a easy task nor always a good one, so I have ask Jesus to replace the bad memories with good ones, ones long forgotten or should I say over shadowed by the more difficult ones and He has done that several times. This trip back in time was no exception.
I was taken back to a time when Mom and myself lived in a apartment, which in its self was not the norm. We normally lived with someone,mostly my grandmother until she died. My older brother had just come home from Vietnam or was coming home ,I really don't recall, that would have make me about 4 0r 5 years old. Any way, I recall Mama spending hours on that Christmas tree. It was real and she hung those big old bulbs one strand at a time,carefully putting them just in the right place. She then hung the balls the same way and I remember just watching in amazement as it came together. Then came the ice sickles, one at a time, it seem like it took forever for her to get done with. Do you know how many ice sickles there are in those packs? It felt like a million.But after several HOURS she finally hung the last one.Then she did something I have never saw her do again and I myself have never tried to duplicate it. She took with such love and precise care and cupped angel hair around each one of those big ole lights on that tree that seem to stretch to the ceiling. When she had completed that the lights gave off a warm glow that I can honestly say have never seen again.On any other tree I have seen sense. By this time every small child had gathered at the outside of the window and was looking with amazement. That tree was beautiful masterpiece created by my Mom, by this time the front door was open and kids just starting coming inside to take a look at it. I remember now all the ohs and awes and I think my Mom even smiled. I did not get to help her that year decorated the tree and don't know why,she normally let me put those ice sickles on, but I am kinda glad she didn't. I don't know if I would have recall all those details if I had helped and not just watched. So as I sit and look at my Christmas tree that by no comparison holds a light to that tree on Jasper Street. is is pretty just the same, and I am really glad I put it up. Because I saw that excited ment in Cole,Jonah,and Judah's eye when they saw it for the first time,much like the the excitement I recall seeing in those neighbor kids eyes when they came in and looked at that tree my Mom decorated that year. How excited and proud I was, and as that memory fades away hopefully to recall again another time, it fades with my Mom Turing her head oh so slightly my way and smiling.
Wow what a great kiss on the cheek. Thanks Jesus.

My Choice

2008-11-17T04:37:00.001-08:00

I was on my way home last week and I passed a house on Old Orangeburg road that was Griswald decked out for CHRISTmas. I could not help but think Wow they sure are in the spirit. It is not even Thanksgiving yet. But as I passed the house it hit me.CHRISTmas is almost here again. Is time racing past me like a whirlwind. It seem just a few weeks ago I was teaching Cole and Johah how to swim, now it is cold and CHRISTmas is popping up every where.
At work we have a increased of depression that happens around the Holiday, most people are worried about money and with all good reason, others are just wishing it will be over soon.
All this has caused me to stop and think a bit. It has been a long time that I have enjoyed the season. Daddy died 2 months before CHRISTmas in 2005, and that pretty much tugged on the heart strings, then the next CHRISTmas mama was gone, then the next one after that we lost Kenny, so all in all for me it has been 3 CHRISTmas's that have had a sad overtone to it.
Well frankly I am sick and tired of being Sad. Satan has done a great job of robbing us of the joy not only in our everyday life's, but also in our loss'
We have pulled away from the reason we even celebrate this time year by allowing the worry and and losses to cloud our thoughts and our hearts.
I heard a Pastor say once that everything we experience we choose how we will allow it to affect us. Satan may cause some problems but not without Gods permission to do so, and I feel that God then looks at us and waits for us to CHOOSE HIM.
Satan says you have no money to buy gifts Jesus says choose me I am the gift.
Satan says you are having a hard time and you can not enjoy life anymore and Jesus says my yoke is easy and my burdens are light if you chose me.
Satan says your heart is sad and things will never be the same Jesus says I make all things new choose me.
But for most of us we Choose to be worried, and sad and depressed and just wish that this time of year will go away. Where would we be if it had never come?That thought is to fearful to even think about.
How guilty I am that I have fallen into the trap that Satan has so cunningly set to make me less effective as Christians by using my on emotions against me.
Well for me this season I am packing up my gloomies and putting them in a box under my tree 'For real' if you come to my house you will find a box under my tree that will say on it gloomies.
I am going to pull out my tree and all my decor and heck I may even buy some more ( dont tell Neil ) I am going to the parade all three of them even if I have to go alone. I will be breaking out my CHRISTmas CD's and I will put a song in my heart. I am going to be with my family the ones that I can and I will tell them how much I love them and how much Jesus loves them. I mailing CHRISTmas cards even to those I dont like :):):)
I am going to watch Charlie Brown, and all those movies that make me laugh.
I am sure there will be times this will get hard but I owe it to Christ to show the joy of my salvation, and how thankful I am that we even have this season. I know that I can never repay Him for what he has done for me but I can put my best foot forward for Him. I am going to ask Him everyday to remove any sadness from my heart and to help me focus on the season.
I love you Mom and Dad and Kenny.but this year it wont be about you, you will be celebrating a birthday in heaven and I bet that will be a great party, one that I will get to see first hand one day, but for me this time this year I CHOOSE Jesus.

Counting my Blessings

2008-11-03T07:33:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago as we sat down to eat dinner, my dear husband was forced to say the blessing.
This is something he is doing more and more lately, to his defense, but normally it is I. This night I had already stuffed something in my mouth and my words would not form so I relented and squeezed his hand and he followed the cue and stepped right up to the plate and said the blessing. One thing I have noticed with him is that no matter when or when or what, he always thanks God for our blessings.
Now I am thankful for the many things that God has blessed me with, but like most people unless it is something big, I tend to over look the little things that warms my heart each day. I so often fail to thank my Lord and Savior for the smaller things that are relevant to me.
So today I am including a active prayer in my blog on the things that warms my heart each day that God has blessed me with.

Lord forgive me for allowing the world to demand so much of my attention that I take my eyes off of you, and forgive me for minimizing the blessings in my life that are not on a bigger scale.
Thank you for for the way I feel when Olivia smiles at me and all you see is squinted eyes and gums, or when my grand boys call my name with excitement. Thank you that I can see, touch, and smell the beauty of this world around me, the way that my breath catches the early morning air and I am reminded that you gave me breath and you are the only one that can take it away.
I am awed to feel the rain on my face but more than that I love to close my eyes and feel the wind blow, for that reminds me that even though I can not see you or touch you right now, you are still there.
I love to smell coffee brewing and that feeling I get after the first sip in the morning, that makes me feel warm in my tummy.
I am touched when I hear children playing in the distance and it reminds me of some of my founder childhood memories. You are slowly erasing the bad ones and replacing them with the good ones, the ones I had long forgotten.
For naps and blankets to curl up in and warm fuzzes on my feet.
For fleeing moments with those that I love, and how when that time comes to a end, how thankful I was to have a few minutes of their day, for neither one of us may not have tomorrow left to share on earth , and Daddy I dont ever wont to forget that fact.
For fireplaces and warm beaches and music Lord, how I do love me some music and may my heart sing a joyful noise unto you for now and forever more.
For the times when my sister and I go and do crazy things and we laugh, so often more at ourselves than others, it gives me a good feeling inside.For big people in little cars that for some reasonthat just cracks me up.
For times that I get the giggles at all the wrong moments and for the big ole belly laughs that brings me to tears.
Thank you sweet Lord for the memories that I hold dear to my heart, and the tears of pain and joy that you personally keep in a special store house.
For the way it makes me feel when I am at home and Neil burst in and calls me "woman of the house '' I cant help but good inside when I hear that.
Lord thank you that through all my failures as a parent my children respect me, and I feel a sense of pride at the respect they show me and I pray that you will bless them for this respect and make their lives long ones as your word promises it will do.
Holy Daddy I could sit all day and think of the small things that touch me in so many ways, but once again the demands of my day are at hand, and I must go,but I wonted to thank you for these things that warm my heart, I am sorry it has taken me so long. Continue to bless this servant of yours and bless those that take a few minutes from their day to read this public display worship and praise.

It is good to give thanks to the Lord, and to sing praises to your name O Most High. To declare your lovingkindness in the morning and your faithfulness every night. Psm 92:1-2

In your name Jesus
Amen

A Place for New Beginnings

2008-10-20T13:59:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been going to a little church that meets at Pelion High School. I came about it quite by accident and I went one Sunday, and with the exception of one Sunday I had my grand boys I have been there each Sunday sense.
I have been compelled to go to this little church with a rather big name. New Life Christan Fellowship Baptist Church. " A place for New Beginnings"
Now for many of you, I have shared my LONG journey of finding a church home. I thought a couple of times that I had found it but could never get total peace. I have prayed and cried out to God and griped and mourned and groaned but it did me no good, and for a long time I was getting worried. My sister told me once that I over analyzed things and I could not help but wonder if this was part of the problem. Then someone told me that It was not important what church you go to as long as you go and it is a bible teaching church, well I could not get peace about ether one of those responses.
I has taken me a L-O-N-G time to even figure out what I was looking for in a church home. And I often got caught up in emotion as well as duty that it had clouded my perception a bit.
So I set just a few simple things into my head that I was looking for in a church home and of course I continued to pray about it hoping that I could get some light on why I was having so much trouble, although I did not expect much of a answer because for some reason those prayers have seem to hit the ceiling and go no further.
But never the less that was the plan.
But as I continue to go to New Life I felt more and more at home.
Now I have been part of big churches and I have been part of Small churches but I have never been part of a church plant, so I found this in its self very interesting. How neat to watch a church grow from 20- 200 to 500, who knows. I only know that my little church with a big name has a big heart, and big plans and a desire to reach the lost and at the same time know your name.
The task is big and this road may be long, but the company is sweet, and as I think about how long it has taken me to get to this place, I realize that Gods timing is perfect. That at any other time in my journey I would not have been ready for New Life and New life would have not been ready for me.
It does matter to God where you go to church, and although I am still not sure that all the analyzing was needed, it did prove to be helpful in shorting out my thoughts and desires about a church home.
The other churches have been great and I have learned allot, but for the most part there was a sadness that I could not understand at the time. I realized that one day recently I opened my bible. See I keep in my bible two very special memorials, one is my Mama's and one is Kenny's my nephew.
My home church I cant help but think about my mama when I walk in those doors. That was the only church she new and when she got well that is were she wonted to go. We never knew that her healing would be far greater than a physical one, never the less she never made it back there and I could not help but think of that each time I walked through those doors. And for Seacoast where I called home for a while, I think about Kenny, who was making his way back home as well, Only thing is he kept on going. He made it all the way home. Kenny has taught me more in his death than when he was with us. Things that I hold near and dear, but still bitter sweet memories when I walked through those doors as well. These are some of the things I could not find peace with nor did I recognize that until now. Finally the light got bigger, and I realized as the old saying goes....You cant go home.
So I have found me a new home "Finally" one that is ready for fresh memories and one that allot of help is needed and I am ready to get giggie with it, it has been a long time.
So this little church with he great big heart called New Life Christian Fellowship Baptist Church
" A Place for New Beginnings'' is going to be my home because I am sure ready for some new beginnings and to watch what God is going to do now.
A long name yes, but perfect indeed.

Life according to La Tay

2008-10-14T03:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday would have been my Mama's 82 birthday,if she had been living. I am not sure what she would have thought about turning 82. Age was not kind to mama but then again life had not been to kind to her either. So as I thought of her yesterday I had what my grandson Cole would have called a sad heart pretty much all day, and as I went to bed last night I could not help but feel a great loneliness. Something mama worried about for some reason, me being lonely. So much so that on her dieing bed she made my poor baby sister make a promise that she would not leave me alone. A promise that is impossible to keep. For a time I thought it was just something mama worried about thought the whole death process, but now I am not so sure. I think mama worried about me being alone through my life and despite our often turbulent relationship my mom worried about me my whole life. Now I have to be careful, because as so many people do they tend to glorify the loved ones that have gone home, we just don't wont to think ill of the dead, so we are always quick to bring out the good and not the bad, so lets just say my mom was a tough bird as my husband so kindly puts it. As Forrest Gump would say that is all I am going to say about that.
I have learned so much about her in death, and come to realize that she has taught me allot. Now these lessons have mostly been a bit unconventional lessons, but they are life lessons just the same. I like to call them "Life according to La Tay " She has taught me allot. so I thought I would share just 10 things that come into my head, that I have learned, in honor of my mama's 82 birthday.
1. Navy blue always looks good with white.
2. Bitterness will eat you up in side if you let it.
3. When you truly love someone, you love them for a life time.( no matter what )
4. You can not really cook good with out fat back
5. First impressions are lasting
6. You never ware white after summer, no matter what crazy people say
7. Hamburgers with onions are part of the food chain
8. You never mess with a mama's child unless you are ready to fight.
9. Dance while you are still able to. ( mama loved to dance )
10 Friendship is a life time deal.

Happy Birthday Mama.!!!!!!!

Glimsp of Heaven

2008-10-03T03:26:00.000-07:00

My daughter recently invited me and a select few others t0 a bible study at the church she is attending. Realizing my need for a bible structure. a study that some one will hold me accountable in the studying of the word of God, and working out of a book and then meeting back up with others to talk about and refine and correct is a great way t0 be held accountable, and to make sure you are on the right tract. Let us not forget that satin is a deceiver and would like nothing more than for Christians to miss interrupt the word of God.
Second it allows you to be in fellowship with many other believers, in this case women, who all share the same things that Christan women deal with, work,home,husbands,job,and Christ.so then it becomes a bit of relationship thing that women need. ( yes fellows we need )
Well the study is by Beth More titled When Godly people do ungodly things, and if you have every studied with her or been to one of her conferences you know right off the bat two things.
She is biblical sound and this is going to hurt.
Well let me tell you, it did not take Satan long to hit me full force with distractions in MANY forms, so my first thought is GREAT!!!! this must be where I need to be studying what I need to be studying for the next 6 weeks.So I girded up my loin ( that bible talk for pulled up my big girl panties and sucked it it ) and I started praying to my Holy Daddy for help, and I got ready for a heart change ( which is normally what these kinds of studies do ) and you know heart surgery hurts. My father in law told me once, when a study hurts that is when you know that you are on the right track. OUCH!
So any way, I walk in this room and said to myself "self you are one of the oldest women in this class" and self said yes you are, but don't you look good, and as I tell my much younger prettier sister, that beauty fades, but wisdom is forever, I was wondering how I fit in to this and I felt a bit out of place. But in the coarse of the evening as we all talked and shared a bit I began to realize something awesome. EVERY ONE OF THOSE WOMEN IN THAT ROOM,WERE BORN AGAIN,SANCTIFIED,GODLY WOMEN, that wonted to be there, they were hungry for God words and they were willing to put EVERTHING on hold to get it. I could just imagine that was what it must have looked like when Jesus stop to teach ( but on a bigger scale ) undevided attenion .and it was incredible. As Kirk Franking sings " all eyes on you Jesus, all eyes on you " To be in a complete room of saints like that my heart welled up and I could not stop crying and when they prayed it hit me, God allowed me to get a teeny tiny peak of what it if going to be like in heaven, to walk among the saints in one accord, to share and pray and most importantly praise. In all my Christan walk I have never been exposed to so many solid saints in one room, that I have felt such power. Here is the other kicker, we shared prayer request not the ones that you throw out in a crowd so people don't think your life is perfect, we shared deep request, as for mime already I see God moving with the answers.
With that brings a whole new perspective when it tells us in God words that he answers the prayers of the righteous. not that I ever doubted that, but never have I seen it happen so fast.
What a ride this is going to be and I am sooooooooo excited. I may limp for a while but my heart even leaps for that.
So at this moment, I think when I get to heaven, I will probably do a whole lot of crying, good tears of course but if that glimsp is anything like I felt in that room, it will be tears.
LET THE REDEEMED SAY SO!!!!

Good Friends

2008-09-24T19:18:00.000-07:00

This morning found a very cool breeze greeting me as I got up and started my day. And with that breeze I found good friends, I have waited all summer long to reconnect with my friends, and as good friends will do, they were waiting on me too. I did not have to do any searching, they were just where I have put them months ago. Sitting quietly waiting on me to remember all the cool days they comforted me. Never whining or complaining, just waiting on me to bring them back into my day. Yes it was my pink fuzzy bedroom shoes, I reached for them and there they were, a bit older and bit more swap sided but ready and eager to please. As I put my feet into them and the warmth engulfed my toes, I could not help but stop for a moment of silence for the pink fuzzy animal that gave up its hide to make my pink fuzzy bedroom shoes and was convinced that there is a special place in heaven for these wonderful creatures.
Oh they have not been without their own drama, the times my daughter has come and slipped them on her feet as if no one noticed, with total disregard to the fact that they don't fit her but each time I have rescued them and kept them in the fold, and the time that Buba ( my dog ) thought he could take one to his bed and hide it to make it a object of his affections, but this plan was quickly foiled and my pink fuzzy bedroom shoe was reunited with its mate and with me.
Yes with fall comes the cool breeze and the chilly mornings and the return of my pink fuzzy bedroom shoes........life ain't so bad.

Tapestry

2008-09-08T04:16:00.000-07:00

Carol Kings sings a song titled Tapestry. In this song she speaks of the tapestry of life and how that it is woven into bits of blue ( sad times) and gold ( good times ) you can feel it and see it but you cant hold it. Because holding it would give you control over it and we do not have control over our lives, past a certain point.
As I returned home from a weekend with my sisters, I would not help but think of that song and how well it seem to fit.
Once a year we try and come together as a family, and we all plan to go, but life happens and I find it interesting to see which set of family members end up coming. I myself have had to forfeit a trip. It is almost like the prize in a happy meal, you know there is one and you are excited about it you are just not sure which one you are going to get. I also love to see how the year has changed us. But no matter who is there we all seem to at some point look back at the tapestry we had all come from. The names, the places, the time and the events that took place ( wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold )
For some the changes have been subtle for some painful. And with each trip no matter what I always learn something that I did not know before.
So this morning I reflect on that.
For one of my sisters, I learned that she is not as obtuse as she thinks she is, it is more of a insecurity for her, I have never really seen that in her in the small amount of time that I have spent with her.
For another sister, the pain of her loses were evident in more ways than one. And I think for the later lost we all grieved a bit with her in a private place, for me it was on my way home when I tossed a kiss and a muttered missed ya under my breath.
I learned of a honesty in a niece that I would not help but respect, and a strength that I had not seen in the past. Her gait she had set into motion and the beginning of her tapestry was set.
I learned that Cole will fall asleep eventually, and I think for the first time I really listened to his laugh. It is deep and comes from his heart. I only wish that he would always laugh and never know the pain of life, then if that were to be the case, his tapestry would be a solid color and therefore not a tapestry at all.
As for the men folk, It was nice to see them all share the love of a sport that I myself are learning to enjoy. Neil was right ( but don't tell him I said so ) God just kinda hangs over your shoulder when you fish and in the quite of His creation , HE is only a whisper away. But then again isn't that always the case? God is only a whisper away. Perhaps it is more of I am only a whisper away from God, He is the one that don't have to shout at me.
As for me, I came to realize that my tapestry continues and will until God calls me home, rich in golds and blues and I hope that some where along that way my colors after they are woven will keep my family warm because in my colors of blue and gold there is also the color of love and I was reminded of that in a poem my Mama had given me many years ago, title Legacy Of A Adopted Child"The the last paragraph reads: " The age old question through the years, Heredity or environment which are you the product of neither my darling neither just two different kinds of love

Now thats gold!

God our Defender

2008-09-04T03:28:00.000-07:00

In my quite time today there was a big question. What is God doing when you are in a bind? When the lifeboat springs a leak? When the rip cord snaps? When the last penny is gone before the last bill is paid.....I know what we are doing. Nibbling on nails like corn on the cob. Pacing floors. Taking pills, but what dose God do, that was the question and part of a response from my favorite Arthur Max Lacado.
Which prompt me to think, why do we pace and worry. What is it that will not ease up when things are not so easy. What is it that holds on to the things that we should just let go of if indeed Christ is in our hearts? Is it free will overload? I wonder that because Christ allows us to have a free will or should I say loves us so much that we have free will, have we like everything thing else in our life's Overloaded on it. We over work, we over eat, we over sleep, or dont sleep at all, we over analyzed, over spend over and over. Is that what happens to that precious gift of free will. Jesus says, just love me by your own free will and I will take care of everything else, and we cant even do that.So I think for my sake I am going to work on that "over" issue and try and trust the one who says in Exod. 14;14 I will fight for you.
The rest of the devotion went on to say.
" What does God do?.....
He fights for us. He steps into the ring and points us to the corner and takes over. Remain calm; the Lord will fight for you. His job is to fight. Out job is to trust. Just trust. Not direct ( that's me ) or question....our job is to pray and wait.

Humm, something to think about.

Walley World

2008-08-24T20:54:00.000-07:00

Recently I was engaging in some retail therapy in Walmart. I was there spending my husband overtime money I was upset with him, and as I had said previously in my blogs I POUT, but this time I just decided to spend his money on a bunch of nothing.
So as I was bound and determined to shop until I dropped, I found myself really looking at all the people that were spending their Sat afternoon in Walmart as well.
Well let me tell you it was something else. Let me start with the lady with the hair.
Now you have seen older women I am sure with blue hair and with gray/silver hair, well this little darling had neither it was, pink,purple, and brown. I kid you not! and we are not speaking about no young chick either we are talking Granny. Well as they say only her hair dresser knows for sure.....NOT.
The next thing that caught my eye was the young man that had a hold of his crotch like someone was going to steel it from him.I saw him several times, I tried to ignore the obvious but if my sister had been with me she would have slapped me and told me to "Stop it !I could not understand why he had such a death grip on his man hood, and I am sure my face displayed the same puzzlement.
Next was the young girls who's body's don't fit in their clothes,You know the ones that you wont to tell HONEY THEY DON'T FIT MOVE UP A SIZE OR TWO.
And I wont to know who was the bright cookie that came up with letting grandpa drive the little scooter around Walmart, He cant even drive a car, what makes them think he can do any better with a scooter? Maybe we should next time, unplug the battery when we get the buggy.We may save someones foot,and speaking of buggies why do people hold a family reunion in the middle of the ale? Move to the side please, don't stand there and discus your kidney stones most people don't care, but the one that got me the most was the girl who was sitting outside taking a break, she was sitting on the curb just a causal as any one, except for one thing, with the hip hugger pants she had on and the fact that I mention earlier that you should sometimes buy a bigger size she had a full moon rising, we ain't talking no crescent moon, we are talking the whole thing hanging out of her pants, almost wonted to drop some loose change down her pants.
All this left me thinking what has this world come to, as my dear mama would have said 'going to hell in a hand bag.
Well one good thing came out of my visit to Wally World the check out lady actually spoke to me, wonders never cease. Next week I am checking out Kmart:):)

PS Belly dancing classes start September the 8th, this one sounds like its going to hurt..

For Better or Worse

2008-08-18T04:24:00.000-07:00

Today is my wedding anniversary and I think back on that day 31 years ago.
How hectic the day was and how I got mad at my husband for working on our wedding day, he did get off early but he did work, and today we went off to work as well.
So I reflect on that man of mine and here are some things that comes to mind.
He loves his dogs. Past and present.And one of the few times I have seen him cry was over a dog. He says that the unconditional love they have for their owners reminds him of how Jesus feels about us. No matter how bad we treat Jesus he keeps coming back to us to try and get us to love him as much as he loves us. Strange theology but oh so true.
He don't waste his time on fake people, I find over the years that it is the genuine people that have lasted in his life.
He is a honest man, and that honesty was enforced with a iron fist as my children were raised. and he feel that same way today.
He will do anything he can for someone as long as they do not know it was him, he aids and helps in secret, bringing No attention to himself, and there are many things he has done for people that they do not know to this day that he was behind it.
( He who is last, will be first )
He is his own worst enemy when he messes up and I have seen him make himself physically ill beating his self up over things that he has goofed on.
He loves the out doors and loves to fish and truly finds peace with God when he is on a lake, or hunting for arrow heads.
He is the hardest working man I have ever met, my daddy was another one, but even daddy took time off, not Neil unless he is forced to, which has lead to the stability of my home and my children and now for that I am grateful, I could not see it back then but do now.He has confessed that he wishes he had taken more time off when Sugar and Jason were younger but in his mind at that time, his working was doing what was best for his family.
He thinks a hand shake is better than a signature and he feels that a man should be able to talk to another man face to face if there is a problem and get it resolved, and once that has been done it is done ( I pout )
He is not fancy and often don't even comb his hair he says that it is not what is on the outside but what is inside a mans heart that counts.
He is without doubt a man of integrity.
He loves his children, I see it by how he has taught them to be as he would say " good people" and how he has sacrificed for them personally over the years things that many people dont even know.He loves his grandchildren, that is clear by the way he smiles at them when they come over and by the time that he spends with them.
and I believe he loves me too, heck he even signed my card this year.:):)
He is not with out spot or blemish by no means but the good certainly out weighs the bad.
I hear people say all the the time that there husband is there best friend, Neil is not my best friend, to me that term is to generalized and often over stated and abused kinda like the word love, I love Jesus and I love ice cream how can you put them in the same category??? Neil is my husband and my mate and that carries allot of weight and responsibility. A friend cuts you slack, my husband helps hold me accountable and helps hold me up.The word husband is what he is and defines who he is to me.
Yes that is my Husband and after all these years he carries that title with my up most honor and respect and loving him is easy because of that.
Happy Anniversary old man, thank you for allowing me to be your wife.

Girls Just wont to have fun

2008-08-08T01:49:00.000-07:00

OK so I am going through this stage were I think I have to be doing something all the time besides work and my domestic thing I do at home. What is that all about?? So I ask myself, I said self what is the deal here, don't we have enough to do, with work, home, my sweet babies and my husband who is working all the time, that you feel like you must take something else on? and self said " girl what we need is a little fun" OK I admit that I have never been one to turn down some fun that I knew was not going to make me feel bad the next day. So I had to think about this a bit. My mind kept going back to the same ole things that I have done for fun in the past.
Softball....hum OK until the 3rd of 4Th game. Then it just becomes repetitive.Besides its not fun at a softball game if Uncle Ken is coaching and especially if we suck.No matter what he says it matters to him if we win or loose.
Water skiing..... gas is to expensive and I need someone to drive the boat ( Neil works 6 days a week and he is pretty beat on Sunday.
Hang out more with my sis....... She is playing softball again.

So that leaves me to these conclusions, either I am going to take clogging lessons, or belly dancing,because I do love the dance or go and buy that bike I have been wanting for a while.
Perhaps a motorcycle is now in order, bowling is a option, regardless I am off to find what tickles my funny bone. Sounds like a tango dance to me!!!!

Church on the Hood

2008-08-03T19:44:00.000-07:00

How I have longed for the church of my youth or even the church of my children's youth.You would think that with as many churches as there are you could just walk in one and feel right at home......Not! Ironically my search has brought me back to the place I started for now to rest and lick my wounds, that little church on the hood.
And as I reflect on all this I can not for the life of me recall why I left it. The only thing that really comes to mind is perhaps I was off trying to keep up with the Jones, and if that is the case how shallow that makes me feel, as shallow as some of the Church's I have been to.
As you walk into this church it is not pretty nor is it big, you are greeted at the door by a "Biker dude" dressed in leather, with a smile as genuine as they come ready with a hand shake and or a hug. His Tee Shirt reads Jesus saves and he is ready and more than willing to tell you how Jesus saved him and how he ended up at church on a lost bet with his brother, and he has been here ever sense, and given an edge he will tell you how he has a prison ministry that will rival the largest church. As you find your way to your seat, the only music you hear for now is greetings and glad to see ya and how are you doing that echo in the Small church,and laughter, something I have missed in my visits to other Church's Here are white people and black people, poor and middle class and perhaps one or two that are well off, but you would never know that for sure for humble is their pie.There are those that are dealing with physical as well as mental issues and those that are fighting the addictions that bind them. There are Mothers who have lost children's and wives who have lost husbands and husbands who have lost wives You have some that are out of prison and some that are facing prison and some that are still paying for a mistake they have made once. But when you walk in those doors you have the feeling that all are on equal ground and there is no condemnation in these walls.All in all there are about 40-50 people here today, but they also are host to about 10 other ministers that guide about 500 people each week.
You will probably not find the folks here with brand name cloths or shoes on, no pretty people you might say except in their heart and that is what brings me to to heart of the matter. Arent these the kind of people Jesus hung out with? You did not find him with the ones that had platice or position, you found him with the sick, poor, the mental and the broken both physically and spiritually.In Isiah 61;1-4 he instructs us to do the same.The sermon today is titled High cost for low living and the Pastor for this Sunday is a long time friend and I was refreshed to hear Gods word, intact, not watered down so that it don't offend,He would not be guilty of hearsay this day. He told us what God had told him to say and he made no apologies for speaking the true word of God.He he was gentle in speech and I was touched that he admitted that he too had followed the world at times and the cost was high. The high price for low living.
So what is the problem, glad you ask that, the problem I felt was the worship. It lacks in depth and perception for me....How sad....Not sad for the music, sad that I have been tricked into thinking that the music is what was most important and I could not have been further from the truth....well done Satan, you got me on that one, but not for long.

The spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach to the POOR.
He has sent me to bind up the BROKENHEARTED,to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the PRISONERS,to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the vengeance of our God,to comfort all who MOURN.............

Blessed

2008-07-24T02:01:00.000-07:00

Well Olivia made it, all 6lbs 12 OZ of her. When I looked into that face so many things came rushing through my mind. How much she looked like her Mother at her birth 30+ years ago. What would my Mom and Dad had thought if they could be here.
What in the world are we going to go with a Little Princes in the mist of Peter Pan and the lost boys.:):) and how we are going to get those bows to stick in all that jet black hair? She of course is beautiful, but there was no doubt about that.
Now my role as Mimi has increased by one for now, what a blessing.
Who would have thought so long ago I would have 4 grandchildren. I must admit those things never crossed my mind as I was raising my children, my goal was to get them grown and meet there needs ( not always their wont's ) so as I sit and all this starts to sink in, I am curious to know what this seasons of my life will be like. As I sit and take a brief inventory of my life, I see a rich and beautiful tapestry.
An honest hard working husband who has sacrificed so many times to see that our family needs have been met and never complained. A daughter who is a women in her own right, raising her own children with solid Christian values. A son who has grown to be a strong young man, who works just as hard as his father does. His maturity increases more and more each passing day, he too is learning the value of hard honest work, more precious is that he tells me he loves me everyday. I am and forever will be his biggest fan. Now 4 grandchildren that are as far as we know healthy and strong. A son-in-law that I know would do anything I ask of him,this was evident recently when someone had upset me and it was all I could do to keep him from running to defend my honor. It took a few days to settle him down.
A home that is mine with land that I can leave my children. Sisters that I laugh with, and cry with ( one more than the others ) A steady Job that will provide for us in the future and 2 dogs that love unconditionally. In laws that I love and they love me,that is shown all the time by their support and daily prayers for us.
I saw a bumper sticker not to long ago that said "To Blessed to be depressed"
for me, this season of my life, how very true that is. Thank you Lord for blessing me so richly, for allowing me to understand that blessings are not that of monetary means that only last for a short while, but of things and people that will last a life time.

Lizards,kittens,Pepsi,pink lace and football

2008-07-19T01:02:00.000-07:00

Neil and I are awaiting the arrival of out 4th grandchild Olivia Neil. I am excited to see her and welcome her to this crazy world and family. I wonder who she will look like, and I really am excited about smelling her. I know that sounds strange but it is true. She has not to long left heaven and she still smells of God. I am convinced that is what a baby smell is. You know that smell they only have for a little while right under the neck, we call it baby smell, but it is really, what I think God smells like.Pure innocence. I like to think that before she left, a few people that are in heaven already gave her a sweet kiss on her cheek as God sent her out, just to say hello. I think it is so like my God to do something like that for comfort. And if my Mom had any control, Olivia would be born fully clothe in pink and lace with the frilly bottoms, pink white patten leather shoes ( only because it is summer time, black if it was fall or winter because WE DONT WARE WHITE AFTER LABOR DAY )lace socks and if possible a bow in her hair.
I find I am really missing her lately at the pending birth of our first granddaughter, I guess because I know how excited she would be over a girl. Not to take anything from our boys, she always said they had kissee lips and she loved to kiss on them the very little time she had with them.
I still see her pushing Cole down the hall on her walker!
God is blessing me every day, with my grown children and now with my grands. I am beginning to think that perhaps this is what life is all about . I can hardly wait to see what Jason's children will be like, but I guess we need to find him a wife first LET IS PRAY AND PRAY HARD.
Oh what adventures lies ahead......lizards,kittens,Pepsi,pink lace and football. Does any one have any good vitamins I am going to need them, and I can hardly wait.:):):)

It is what it is

2008-07-10T02:07:00.000-07:00

I go through these times in my walk with God were I am compelled to do some soul searching.
It is HIS way of letting me know that I am out of fellowship with HIM. I allow many things to suffer because of this.One being my quite time. Sadly I sometimes do not even realize this is going on until, something gets under my skin that I would not normally let bother me, and I can not seem to let it go. It is Satan's way that he/she gets me. I start to mold to the worlds way and the ole me kicks in and I am off. God lets me rant and rave for a while, I guess just to get it out, then a big ole red flag pops me in the face as I come to see that I have falling out of fellow ship with the very one that sustains me, and I promise you, I need HIM far more than HE needs me. For HIM it is a love thing, and not a need thing and I sometimes have a hard time understanding that. For me it is a need thing and a love thing.
So I do my AM I test, am I in HIS word, am I spending time in prayer, am I going to church ( that's another blog at another time ) am I focused on what is really important with my walk, and AM I walking the talk. There you go, I have blown it again. So I cry out and crawl back. Brush my self off and start over again , and I can do that for now because HIS mercy is new everyday,thank goodness.One day though, I will not have chance to do that, but today I can.
So that is were I am today, but this go around is different.
I feel there are some very serous changes that I will have to make this time.
Perhaps even some people I will have to let go. I admit that I have been to passive with some things, just excepting them for what they are. The key word there is "excepting " Not that I could personally can change it, but that I except it and make no stand against it. Not a loud or unruly stand, but just a simple quite stand for Christ, to let others know that I walk my talk. I have failed here because I care more about what some people think than what Jesus thinks. In the end He is the only thing that really matters. Do I really wont to face Him, and some day I will,
and have Him look at me and say depart from me, I dont know you either! I DONT THINK SO.
One of my sisters made a statement recently she said " It is what it is" Some truer words have never been spoken.
Pride, idolatry,prayerlessness, legalism,conformity and plain out disobedience, It is what it is, but that don't make it right and excepting.You can not change what those things are, but you can choose not to embrace them and just except them like they dont matter to God, because they do, and deep in my heart I know that.
You know, I am weary of straddling the fence, and blending in with the world, because I am not from this world, and all this takes more energy than I have to put into it. His yoke is easy and His burden is lighter. unlike the worlds way that is hard and heavy burdened. How did that get all turned around ? Satan has tricked me again. But that is what he/she is good at.
With that and in closing I am reminded of some lyrics to a song that says, beneath the emblem of a roman cross, that's were I take my stand, where would I be if Christ had given up on me?.............. I shudder to think!
This one is going to hurt.:(:(:(

Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come ( it is what it is.Paraphrase mime), BUT WOE TO THE MAN THROUGH WHOM THEY COME!
Matthew 18:7

Cole for President

2008-07-07T10:53:00.000-07:00

As I have stated in my profile, I have 3 almost 4 grandchildren who are the very heart of me. Now if you have grandchildren you know what I mean, if not, then you just wait because God put a special cap in your heart that pops off when a grandchild is born, and a crazy kinda love just starts to free flow, Either you understand that or you dont, but I hope one day you will.
I had my lovey's last night and we had been going around and around about junk food. So I finally said to Cole, no more junk food until you eat something good for you and we came to a compromise of a peanut butter sandwich, that he gave 1/2 of that to Jonah for a Scooby snack
( they are into Scooby Do right now ) and he gave 1/2 of his 1/2 to Judah. and then ask for what else some junk food.
As I reminded him that he did not really eat any of his food, that he gave it away. He turned around with those big ole brown eyes and said with his best defense (court was now in session)
"Mimi, I have a thing on my wall that says do to others as you wont them to be kind to each other, and then with great frustration he looked at me and said " I'm just tiring to love my people"
Now I knew his mom has been teaching him bible verses something I wish I had done as a Mom and not depended on Sunday school teachers to do, and I knew that he had mixed up the verses,
but that was so cute what could I say.
Sounds like a presidential platform to me. Just loving my peeps. You go Precious, Mimi has your back.